Showing posts with label THE LUNCHBOX RECOMMENDS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label THE LUNCHBOX RECOMMENDS. Show all posts

Man of Steel Review: It’s Superman And Yet It’s Not

If you’re a Superman purist I can guarantee you won’t enjoy Man of Steel. If on the other hand you go, forgetting all that you know about the world’s greatest superhero then you’ll likely be entertained. For years now, fans and critics alike have been calling for a believable Superman, one relevant to today. Director Zach Snyder and screenwriter David S. Goyet accomplish exactly that with this dark, reimagined version which bares producer and Dark Knight director, Chris Nolan’s imprint. However, some of the liberties taken by these three to update Superman’s story have fans up in arms and understandably so. (Spoilers to follow)

Man of Steel does incorporate a number of the elements many would recognize from the Superman of before—the destruction of Krypton, the Kents raising young Clark, the return of General Zod from the Phantom Zone—and for the most part the movie does a good job portraying these backstory events in the setup. Beyond this things start to get dicey.

The movie begins with Lara, Superman’s mother, giving birth to her son, an act of treason on Krypton where children are artificially conceived and genetically engineered for predetermined roles within society. This is pivotal in setting up the themes of hope and choice echoed though Kal-El’s journey to becoming a superhero. Soon after the planet’s doomed fate is revealed, baby Kal-El is launched into space, and General Zod (superbly played by Michael Shannon) is banished for leading a failed coup. The rest, of course, we know.

Next we see a grown up version of the now, Clark Kent (Henry Cavill), working a series of odd jobs in his search to discovering his origins while trying to keep his abilities under wraps despite circumstances forcing him to do otherwise. These scenes are intertwined with flashbacks to Clark’s past as the strange boy who never fit it and the lessons from his adoptive father (Kevin Costner) and mother (Diane Lane). Both actors made for the perfect Jonathan and Martha Kent, and Costner does a particularly good job as he expresses his deep concerns that the world isn’t ready to accept what it can’t understand in Clark’s powers.

Along the way we are introduced to intrepid reporter, Lois Lane (Amy Adams) who is covering a story about a strange object discovered in the ice somewhere in the nether regions of the arctic. After an encounter with Clark, Lois goes on the hunt to learn of her rescuer’s origins, eventually tracking him down to Smallville. Meanwhile, Clark discovers the frozen object is actually the key to discovering who he really is (although has to wonder how a centuries old Kryptonian scouting ship could contain the famous blue suit made specifically for Kal-El).

And then, after a solid hour or so, our story begins.

General Zod, who managed to escape the Phantom Zone with a squad of co-conspirators, shows up in search of Clark and an object containing the genetic coding necessary for preserving the Krytonian race which Zod, naturally wants to resurrect on earth. With the earth’s fate in the balance, Clark reveals himself to the world as the alien Zod is looking for, and he willingly surrenders, first to the U.S. government and then to the Krytonian invaders. So far so good.

Zod’s plan is eventually revealed and thus begins all the fighting and destruction—oh, the destruction. First Clark’s hometown of Smallville is ripped to shreds in a main street showdown, showcasing a host of corporate logos including Sears, 7 Eleven, and IHop. (Hey, they said they wanted to make it believable--what's more believable than IHop?) Next, the center of Metropolis is pulverized into dust as Zod tries to alter Earth’s composition into something a little more Krytonian. It’s like Michael Bay’s wet dream to the tenth power making the Avengers battle scene look like a fender bender on 5th and Wabash. And just when you think it’s safe to come out from under the rubble, Superman and Zod take turns wailing on one another as they topple about a dozen more skyscrapers for another ten minutes as a build up to a shocking climatic scene. (I’m not saying what.)

Given my blogging persona, I’ve been getting pegged with questions asking for my opinion of the movie almost from the minute I left the theater. Honestly, I’ve been debating how to answer this. Driving home at 3 AM, I really, really wanted to like Man of Steel. I mean I’ve been waiting for over two years to watch this movie, and yet after seeing it, I couldn't tell if it was worth the hype. This made me think that maybe my expectations were too high, that, like many fans, nothing could please me. However, by the second trip to see it, this time with the family, I felt a bit more comfortable with the movie—but not all of it.

The storyline, the acting, and the overall feel of Man of Steel were all headed in the right direction, certainly more so than Superman Returns, which, by comparison, even made the fight scenes and collateral damage justifiable. Execution, however, was another matter. I could nitpick the movie's flaults, but I’m not a critic, only a fan. And so, it’s from that perspective that I will point out the biggest flaw of the movie—they changed Superman.

I realize that changes were inevitable—needed even, but in Man of Steel there’s very little that makes the Big Blue Boy Scout just that, a boy scout. Sure, there are a few scenes of him saving a school bus full of children and a handful of trapped oil rig workers, but beyond this Superman, by omission, demonstrates an uncharacteristic lack of concern for human life (or Kyptonian for that matter since he wipes out his own race's last chance of survival--so much being a symbol of hope).

When Smallville is turned into a literal war zone, Superman does nothing to move the fight away from the terrified citizens. (You'd think he’d be more sentimental about his hometown.) The same is true when the Zod hits the fan in Metropolis as the two wreck everything and anything in their path.  And then there’s that final scene which caused everyone’s jaw to drop. Even my youngest son turned to me and said, “Superman doesn’t do that.”

Granted, I didn’t want to see a campy, sappy version of my favorite superhero, but in attempting to create a believable character Snyder and Goyer stripped Superman of the very essence of what makes him Superman, ultimately bringing him down to our level rather than giving us something to aspire to.  

Throughout the movie I kept waiting for that one dramatic moment when I'd be overcome by goosebumps after Superman did something amazing like rescuing a scared child from a meteor shower (Tom Welling in Smallville) or gently dropping a doomed airliner in a stadium as the crowd goes wild (*sad sigh* Brandon Routh in Superman Returns), but, to my great disappointment, that moment never came.  It never came because the real Superman, the one that inspires us never showed up. Oh well, maybe next time. 


* * *
Do I recommend you see Man of Steel? Yes. It is a Superman movie and still entertaining (and better than Iron Man 3). For parents, keep in mind that Man of Steel does depict some dark imagery and a lot of violence; so, if you’re wondering whether or not to take the kids I would consult Common Sense Media for objective insights.

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Hey Dad Bloggers

Hey dad bloggers, just dropping everyone a line about the Dad 2.0 Summit coming up March 8-10 in Austin. There's already over 100 people registered to go which means this is going to be a well-attended event with a lot of opportunities available for doing some networking, getting your name out there, and meeting brands like LEGO and Johnson & Johnson.

Also, at the moment, there are meetup events planned in various part of the country prior to the conference. The are the ones currently schedule (Houston's is coming up in a few weeks):


* Austin: February 1, The Cedar Door

* Chicago: February 15, Johnny O’Hagan's

* Atlanta: February 9

Wondering what the event will be like? Check out this great video by the crew at Dad Labs.



And if your looking to cut costs or have some special circumstances, get in contact with the organizers for help and questions.

If you're wondering what the value in going to one of these conferences is, particularly if you're hoping to take your blog to a professional level, then know that attending events like this this are what will make you stand out.

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Glee National Competition: Of Course They Win. We Didn't Watch This Show for 3 Years to Watch Them Lose

So here’s what you missed on Glee: The New Directions are headed to New York City for Nationals thanks to Puck who stole a garbage truck to break Brittany out of rehab, to keep Santana from being chased by bounty hunters, talk Artie out of being in a street gang, and help Quinn pass Driver’s Ed. But his plan couldn’t bring Mike back to life after dying by electrocution. Meanwhile, Rachel finds her voice again as well as Finn who had locked himself in a closet. Kurt knows how to rock plaid pants and a newsboy cap, while Coach Sylvester says mean things to Mr. Schuester, and, once again, Mercedes and Tina are doing something minor as fill-ins to the cast so they have an even number of cast members. And that’s what you missed on Glee.

Opening Scene: A bus and a garbage truck roll up in front of some theater in New York City, and the Glee Club members all pile out of the vehicles.

Finn: Gee, it’s so …big.

Brittany: That’s what she said.

Santana: Seriously? Why would you say that, Brittany? I thought you liked girls?

Brittany: I do. And I like puppies.

Kurt: Well, you can betchyour Argyle socks this puppy’s going to be one tough competition.

Quinn: Nice plaid pants and hat. Is that what they call a newsboy cap.

Kurt: Why yes it is and thank you for noticing.

Santana: The 1920’s called, and it wants its wardrobe back.

Kurt: Hello, the, uh …the—well I don’t know who called but they left a message asking if you have any other clothes besides that cheerleading uniform. The polyester must be fused to your skin after wearing it for three years.

Rachel: Guys, guys. Stop it. Here we are at Nationals—the biggest achievement of our lives, the final moment before those of us who are seniors will graduate and the writers will take us off the show except for cameo appearances when the ratings are low, and here we are fighting. We’re supposed to be a team.

Finn: Yeah, Rachel’s right guys. We’re gonna get written off the show and make cameo appearances. Also, we’re a team.

Tina: I just wish Mike could be here with us.

Mike: What are you talking about? I’m standing right behind you.

Everyone turns around and looks astonished. Then Mr. Schuester walks around the bus as starts heading for the entrance to the concert hall.

Mr. Schuester: Come on guys. *sniff* We need to get inside and register.

Mercedes: Mr. Schuester, are you okay? You look upset.

Mr. Schuester: No *sniff* I’m fine. [starts crying as he runs into the building]

Artie: He was on the phone with Coach Sylvester. She made fun of his hair, and then he just cracked.

Rachel: I bet if we win that will cheer Mr. Schuester up.

Kurt: And totally validate his existence in life.

Rachel: And that too.

Finn: So if we don’t win…

Puck: Mr. Schue is probably headed for the loony bin.

Mercedes: We’d better get inside

The Glee Club starts to head inside when a piano from four stories up falls right where Mike was standing.

Mike: Wow! Guess I’m just a lucky guy.

* * *

Next Scene: Inside the theater. The Glee Club is behind the stage waiting to take their places as soon as the next school finishes their routine.

Kurt: Artie, what’s the matter? You look more nervous that the rest of us.

Artie: I can’t go out there.

Finn: Why Dude? Don’t tell me you’re getting stage fright now after three years of performing and then all that time in a boy band before auditioning for Glee.

Artie: No. It’s not that. It’s… well, one of the leaders from a rival street gang is out there and he’s going to shoot me on sight.

Santana: That’s not a gang leader—that’s my Uncle, or something.

Brittany: I’m really hungry. Does anyone have a cat?

Puck: You know who’s hungry? Children all over America.

Quinn: Not now, Puck. Gawwwd. You have the worst timing.

Rachel: Stop nagging him, Quinn.

Mercedes: Stop telling us what to do, diva girl!

Finn: Guys, guys—

Kurt: Oh stuff it step-brother-who-only-became-my-step-brother-because-of-a-plot-gimmick-last-year- when-the-ratings-were-horrible.

Finn: No you stuff—

Fight erupts behind stage. Then Mr. Schuester walks up.

Mr. Schuester: Guys, what’s going on? I mean here you are the last chance to sing before half of you get written off the show and we get a bunch of newbies and hope that they are good enough to carry Glee for one more season, and you’re out here fighting like a bunch of school kids. This is it guys. The end of the road, and some of you might end up going back to Broadway, but the rest of you—what do you have? A cameo appearance next year, a lot of commercials if your agent’s any good, maybe even a minor part in a Tyler Perry movie? Right now, you don’t have anything other than this moment on a primetime television program that ends with this series finale.

Finn: Gosh, we’re sorry Mr. Schuester.

Brittany: Yeah, we don’t want to see you in a mental ward.

Mr. Schuester: I don’t want to see you there either, after you find out the only job you’ll ever be able to get is selling cosmetics at Macy’s after this little run on television.

Puck: Mr. Schue, can I say something?

Mr. Schuester: What is it Puck?

Puck: Well, as you all know, I am the cool spokesman for the Child Hunger Ends Here Campaign, and since this is the last you’ll ever hear from me, I am pleeeeeeading with you to get our school signed up for a chance to win that $10,000 grant. There’s lots the school could do, like a canned food drive or just collecting UPC code from select ConAgra brands. There are tons of needy kids out there who don’t know where their next meal is even coming from. It really doesn’t take much.

Mr. Schuester: Puck, I don’t know what’s gotten into you but would you please get out there and sing? The rest of the Glee club started singing the opening number 2 minutes ago.

Puck: Right, Mr. Schue. I’m on it!



…and the New Directions went on to win Nationals, just like everyone expected them to do for the past three years. And while most of them never got steady work as actors ever again, they all lived happily ever after …except Mickey because, oh my gawd, those bastards had him fall off the stage and break his neck.

* * *


Editor’s Note: Although the above content is a parody of the TV show Glee, the intent is to keep readers engaged as opposed to hearing a public service announcement. Child hunger in a America is much more serious than people realize, and you can help ConAgra, Feeding America, and Schools Fight Hunger simply by asking your school to sign up. We hope that you will. Thanks.

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Glee Regionals: Singing to Ocean’s 11 and Puck’s Daring Rescue Plan

So here’s what you missed on Glee: The New Directions are on their way to Regionals after their win at Sectionals even though Rachel has no voice, Finn’s missing, Artie’s in a street gang, Mike’s dead—again—and Quinn’s failing Home-Ec. Meanwhile, Santana’s being chased by Dog the Bounty Hunter for violating her parole; Brittany’s in Celebrity Rehab for a cat-eating addiction; and Puck’s facing felony charges for stealing lunch money, only he’s not stealing lunch money; he’s trying to help end child hunger. But all is not lost because Kurt is looking fly in a puffy shirt and vintage Mork and Mindy, rainbow suspender; Sue is plotting something even more diabolical than before for Mr. Schuester; and Mercedes and Tina are doing… something worthy of their roles as supporting cast members. And that’s what you missed on Glee.

Opening scene: Kurt, Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina are in the Glee Club room waiting for practice to start.

Mercedes: It’s great we’re headed to Regionals tomorrow, but there’s only four of us.

Mike walking into the room: Don’t you mean five of us?

Tina: Mike! You’re alive!

Mike: Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?

Just then a loose wire falls from the ceiling, electrocuting Mike until he’s a charred corpse laying on the floor.

Rachel [in sign language]: Oh my gawd! They killed Mikey! You bastards!

Kurt: Hmmm. Yeah, that usually happens later in the story. Guess we’re back to four.

Mercedes: You mean three. The only way Rachel can help is if the judges are all hearing impaired.

Rachel, frowning, [in sign language]: Come on guys, this is serious. What are we going to do?

Mr. Schuester enters the classroom: Sorry I’m late gang; Sue slashed the tires on my Smart Car… Hey, where is everyone? …and what’s wrong with Rachel’s hands? It that a nervous tick, because if it is, my OCD girlfriend—

Tina: It’s sign language Mr. Schu. Rachel can’t talk.

Mr. Schuester: —she’s so cute and adorable, but she makes me wrap my head in plastic wrap before she’ll kiss me—

Kurt: Uh, Mr. Shu? All due respect, we really don’t care about your Saran Wrap serenade right now.

Mercedes: Yeah, Mr. Schu. What are we going to do about Regionals tomorrow?

Mr. Shuester: …you guys should see how many boxes of surgical gloves this woman goes through in a night…

Puck crawling out an air duct: I know what we can do.

Everyone: Puck! What are you doing here?

Puck: The cops wouldn’t let me have my one phone call, so I had to bust out. And that’s what we’re going to do about getting everyone back—bust them out.

Kurt: Cool, like a caper movie! I’m glad I’m wearing the right shirt for it.

Tina: It is pretty fly with those Mork and Mindy, rainbow suspenders.

Mr. Shuester: A caper movie, huh? This give me an idea, guys. We’re going to sing the entire soundtrack to Ocean’s 11.

Mercedes: George Clooney and Brad Pitt sang in those movies?

Mr. Shuester: Before Clooney and Pitt, there was Sinatra, Dino and the Rat Pack. They were the original Ocean’s 11 that broke into the Vegas casinos. And they sang their whole way through it.

Puck: Cool guys …singing? Come on, Mr. Schu.

Mr. Schuester: Uh huh. In fact, there’s a great scene where Sammy Davis Jr. is doing this number while posing as a garbage truck driver.

Mercedes: A garbage truck driver. And I suppose you want me to take that song because I’m black?

Mr. Schuester: ‘Fraid not, Mercedes. I’m giving that one to Puck, because he Jewish.

Puck: A garbage truck! That’s perfect Mr. Schu!

Mr. Schuester: How’s a garbage truck perfect, Puck?

Puck: Don’t you get it? A garbage truck can solve everything—it’s bulletproof so we can rescue Artie from the gang. It’s strong enough to smash through the walls at Celebrity Rehab where Brittany’s at, and it’s big, so we can just run right over Dog the Bounty Hunter when we grab Santana, aaaaaand, Quinn can use it to pass her Driver’s Ed final this afternoon and be back in Glee Club again.

Rachel [in sign language]: What about Finn?

Puck: He’s trapped in the janitor’s closet down the hall. It locks from the inside so we just need to explain the directions for using a doorknob.

Kurt: Well what are we waiting for? Let’s go!

Everyone: Yeah! Come on!

Puck: Hold on.

Mr. Schuester: What is it Puck?

Puck: My phone call—well, Twitter actually.

Mercedes: You’re on Twitter?

Puck: Uhhh-Yeaaaah. @Mark_Salling, maybe you've heard of me? But we have to wait until after a public meeting on Twitter hosted by @ConAgra.

Rachel [in sign language]: Seriously?

Puck: Hey, Ending Child Hunger is important, okay.

Mr. Schuester: Guys he’s right. I’ve been trying to get McKinley signed up, but Coach Sylvester won’t let the school signed up unless I agree to give her the entire $10,000 grant we could get if we win the drawing. When’s the meet up, Puck?

Puck: It’s this Thursday, November 10th at Noon, Eastern time. There’s a hashtag for it too #ChildHunger, but you can easily monitor the chat through this handy deal [Flips open a smart-phone].

Everyone: oooOOOOooo, a smart phone.

Puck: And if you’re thinking about doing it, you can RSVP on Facebook too.

Mr. Schuester: Thanks, Puck. Maybe, next time, you should think about collecting select ConAgra UPC box tops instead of stealing other people’s lunch money.

Puck: Uh, Mr. Schu, I know. I’m the spokesperson for the Child Hunger Ends Here Campaign with Feeding America and Schools Fight Hunger.

Mr. Schuester: Then maybe, helping set up a food drive would be better than scaring kids to give you their lunch money.

Puck: Mr. Schu—

Mr. Schuester: That’s enough, Puck. Now don’t you have a garbage truck to hot-wire? And hey, gang, while Puck’s off at that meet up, we’ve got time to start practicing the Ocean’s 11 soundtrack! And it just so happens I have DVD of it right here!



But at the last minute, right before the Glee Club took the stage at Regionals, Mr. Schuester changed his mind, and the New Directions went with this instead.



What would the judges decide? Stay tuned for the next and final installment of Glee


* * *

Editor’s Note: Although the above content is a parody of the TV show Glee, the intent is to keep readers engaged as opposed to hearing a public service announcement. Child hunger in a America is much more serious than people realize, and you can help ConAgra, Feeding America, and Schools Fight Hunger simply by asking your school to sign up. We hope that you will. Thanks.

Disclaimer: True, I am being compensated for my efforts with ConAgra as part of this campaign, but it in no way sways my opinion about hungry children in need of food.

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Glee: Kurt Can't Sing Coldplay and Puck's Really Not Stealing Lunch Money

So here’s what you missed on Glee: The New Directions competed at Sectionals, even though Brittany was at the hospital, Santana landed in jail, Artie’s had to pass his gang initiation, Finn’s got locked in the mop closet on his way to his MENSA entrance test, Rachel blew out her voice in a 48-hour sing-a-thon, Quinn failing and could get kicked out of show choir, Kurt rocks a chartreuse cashmere sweater, Mercedes and Tina are doing… something, Sue is planning something evil for Mr. Schuester, Mike got killed by a walk-by Slushy to the face, and Puck was stuck in detention for stealing kids’ lunch money; only he’s not taking lunch money, he’s tackling the issue of childhood hunger. And that’s what you missed on Glee.


Opening scene: Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina are sitting together and talking at the school’s crowded outdoor cafeteria.

Tina: I can’t believe we actually won Sectionals.

Mercedes: Fu’realz. I didn’t know you could be disqualified for that thing that got them disqualified.

Kurt: Well, I don’t care. A win’s a win, and I’ll take it. Nobody said it had to be pretty.


Tina: Yeah, I guess. And speaking of pretty, that chartreuse sweater is definitely a win, Kurt.

Kurt: Oh, thank you, Tina. I don’t know why but it always makes me want to sing something by Coldplay.

A full band suddenly appears in the background and starts playing the first few measures to Viva La Vida. Kurt steps up on the cafeteria table and opens his mouth—.

Mercedes: Oh helz no. Ain’t nobody singin’ any Coldplay up in here. There’s gay, Kurt, and then there’s gay, gay. Besides, we gotta get to Glee practice.

***

Match cut to Glee Club practice room where Santana, and Brittany are waiting when Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt walk in.

Mercedes: So how was hard time in the big house, Santana?

Santana: Oh, please. I was in for like two hours. They couldn’t prove I did anything to that cat—Brittany ate all the evidence.

Brittany: Yeah, my spirit guide and I are now one.

At that moment, Mr. Schuester walks into the room. There are patches of hair missing from his head.

Mr. Schuester: Alright. Listen up. We dodged a bullet at Sectionals since that school get disqualified for doing that thing that they got disqualified for, so we— [looks around the room] Where is everyone?

Brittany: Mr. Schuester? Why do you have patches of hair missing? Did you eat a cat too?

Mr. Schuester [feeling top of head]: Because, …because Coach Sylvester switched my mousse with Nair. But that doesn’t matter right now. We need to focus on Regionals, so why isn’t everyone here?

Santana: My cousins said Artie got into M18—they’re using his wheelchair for drive-bys

Kurt: Finn was taking a test for MENSA. That was three days ago, and no one’s seen him since.

Mercedes: Rachel’s probably off by herself randomly singing some sappy show tune in the auditorium.


Match cut to auditorium where Rachel is looking around confused.

Rachel: Hello? …Is the anyone here from the school band?

Janitor [walking past]: Trig test. They said something about not repeating 10th grade again from missing too many classes.


Match cut back to rehearsal room

Mr. Schuster: What about Quinn and Mike?

Santana: Quinn’s academically ineligible—she failed the Planned Parenthood section of Home Ec.


Tina: And Mike’s right there. [points to doorway]

Mike waves, right before a football player throws a red slushy in his face . Mike’s head explodes and he drops onto the floor.

Kurt: Oh my GAWD! They killed Mikey! You bastards!.

Mr. Schuster: Okay, and Puck’s in detention for stealing lunch money. Great.

Just then Puck steps over Mike’s body and enters the rehearsal room.

Puck: No I’m not Mr. Schu. I keep telling you, I’m helping ConAgra and Feeding America in their efforts to End Child Hunger.

Mr. Schuster: Suuuure, Puck. Whatever you say.

Puck: I’m not kidding, Mr. Shu. Childhood hunger is a serious issue, and the people I’m working with don’t really like that we’re doing all these parodies even though it’s getting people’s attention.

Santana: Okay, Puck, let’s just say you are some sorta spokesperson for this. Prove it to us.

Puck: You want proof? Did you know that poverty in the suburbs is worse now than in the inner city? And did you also know that 21 million kids are dependent on school meals because they don’t have food at home. And did you also know that nearly 1 in 5 kids doesn’t know where their next meal is coming from.

Kurt: I gotta admit, that was a pretty convincing use of facts.

Brittany: Now I feel bad being part of a group called the Cheer-i-os now.

Mecedes: So what can we do?

Puck: The first thing is to get your school signed up. And then there’s all kinds of other stuff—your school can start a garden or food pantry. You can volunteer at local hunger outreach programs, raise funds, collect UPC codes from select ConAgra products, and you can start a hunger awareness program. Did you know that the number of kids in Houston who don’t know where their next meal is coming from is 27.2%! And when you sign your school up, it’s eligible for a $10,000 grant to be used for a school fieldtrip!


Mr. Schuster: Wow. Childhood hunger is something we don’t really think enough about. I don’t know why you’re telling us about Houston, but you’re energy’s great, Puck. Guys, we could learn a thing or two from Puck’s enthusiasm as we go to Regionals next week. [Turns back to Puck]. And Puck, you’ve been warned once, stop stealing lunch money from other kids. Now grab that guitar and sing us a solo.



Editor’s Note: Although the above content is a parody of the TV show Glee, (in which Mark Salling, the campaign’s spokesman, plays Puck), the intent is to keep readers engaged as opposed to hearing a public service announcement. Child hunger in a America is much more serious than people realize, and you can help ConAgra, Feeding America, and Schools Fight Hunger simply by asking your school to sign up. We hope that will. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I am being compensated for my efforts with ConAgra as part of this campaign

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Glee Sectionals: McKinley High vs. St. Mary's Preparatory School for Bad Life-Choices Involving Kevin Federline

“So here’s what you missed on Glee: Quinn thinks about quitting Glee Club after winning McKinley High’s “Parent of the Year” award. Rachel sings every Barbara Streisand song from the movie Yentl protest of the President’s policy on Israel. Artie accidentally joins the notorious El Salvadorian gang, 18th Street. Finn applies for membership in Mensa in order to upstage Brittany after she eats a stray cat. Puck vows to end child hunger. Kurt wears a vest that makes the color yellow look fabulous. Mercedes and Tina are doing …something. And Mr. Schuester tries to control his pre-Sectional jitters by buying muscle relaxers from Sue Sylvester, but she replaces them with Canadian Viagra. And that’s what you missed on Glee.”

* * *

Opening scene: On the day prior to sectionals competition, Finn, Artie, Mike and Tina are waiting for their fellow Glee Club members in the rehearsal room before class starts.

Artie: Hey, Finn. How’d your entrance test for Mensa go?

Finn: Pretty good. I think I spelled my name wrong, but after that it was cake …and a lot of weird shapes lined up in patterns. Way easier than Brittany eating that cat though. (Finn notices Artie’s face) Dude, what’s up with that tattoo?

Artie: I guess it means I’m a full member of 18th Street now.

Finn: Wasn’t 18th Street that boy band you were gonna join? Dude, they must be hardcore.

Artie: Yeah. I thought it was a boy band when I saw the ad in the paper, but turns out it was a violent El Salvadorian street gang. I thought they were gonna kill me, but one of their guys told me they’ve been gettin’ alotta flak for not having enough handicap members. It’s not too bad though. They use me to run over their victims after shooting them in the leg.

Finn (looking at Mercedes and Tina sitting behind him): What are you two doing?

Mercedes and Tina (simultaneously): …something.

Quinn walks in and starts inspecting all the electrical outlets.

Finn: Why are you doing that, Quinn?

Quinn: I’m making sure the room is baby-proofed. If McKinley High thinks of me as “Parent of the Year” then I better live up to their expectations. And that means you gleeksters better be prepared for kids or I’m out of here.

Artie: Where’s you baby at, Quinn?

Quinn: Probably with Mr. Schuester’s nut-job of an ex-wife. Quinn looks around: Speaking of nut jobs, where’s your girlfriend at, Finn?

Artie: Can’t you hear her in the hallway? Rachel’s turned political extremist in protest of Obama’s policies towards Israel. She’s vowed to keep singing Barbara Streisand's entire Yentl soundtrack unless the U.S. vetoes the Palestinian application for statehood.

Finn: Yeah. She’s already on the third iteration of “Where Is It Written.” I love Rachel, but right now I want to strap dynamite to my chest and run strait at her. She sounds like a cross between Dina Shore and the Sham Wow guy.

Kurt walks into class sporting a fabulous yellow vest.

Quinn: I wouldn’t normally compliment you, but that’s a fabulous yellow sweater vest, Kurt.

Kurt: Isn’t it? Ellen DeGeneres has an ebay site. Love it.

Mr. Schuester shuffles into the classroom, but doesn’t quite seem himself.

Finn: Mr. Schuester, are you okay? You’re walkin’ kinda funny.

Mr. Schuester: I’m fine Finn, I just took some of Coach Sylvester’s pills to relax a bit. …wait where’s the rest of the class?

Artie: Santana got suspended for killing the lunch lady’s cat. Brittany’s having her stomach pumped at the hospital. And Rachel’s using her voice to negotiate peace in the Middle East.

Mr. Schuester: That’s Rachel? I thought that was Dina Shore and the Sham Wow guy’s making a love-child together. Where’s Mike and Puck at?

At that moment in the hallway just outside the classroom, a football player throws a red slushy in Mike’s face causing his head to explode.

Finn: Oh my GAWD! They killed Mikey! You bastards!

Mr. Schuester: What about Puck? How are we supposed to win at Sectionals tomorrow against St. Mary’s Preparatory School for Bad Life-Choices Involving Kevin Federline without Puck?

Puck (steps over Mike’s headless body and strolls into class): I told you last week Mr. Schu, I’m helping ConAgra and Feeding America to end child hunger.

Mr. Schuester: Yeah, Puck, I know you said that, but we thought that was your way of saying you were stealing other kids' lunch money. We didn't think you were serious.

Puck: Oh, I’m very serious, Mr. Schu. Did you know that 21 million children depend on free or reduced price school meals? And now poverty is more rampant in the suburbs than it is in the city or rural areas?

Finn: It’s true. That’s what happened to that blond kid with the octo-lips from last year.

Artie: Really? I thought the writers got rid of him.

Finn: Well, kinda. The writers did want to get rid of him so they just made him poor.

Puck: You see, Mr. Schu? Hungry kids are even here at McKinley too. But schools can help out by going to the Schools Fight Hunger website and signing up to have a UPC label or food drive using specific ConAgra products listed on their website.

Mr. Schuester: Wow, Puck. I’m impressed. With that kinda spirit, I know we can win tomorrow at Sectionals. Oh, and look, the school band has suddenly materialized from thin air, so that means we can practice now.

* * *

At Sectionals, the show choir from St. Mary’s Preparatory School for Bad Life-Choices Involving Kevin Federline performs first, and blows away the judges…




Then there's a dramatic silence and the McKinley High’s Glee Club takes the stage…



Mr. Schuester fidgets with his hair and keeps his legs crossed. Coach Sylvester glares at Will Schuester and his Glee Club as they get sing and dance their hearts out. At the end of the performance, the judges exchange glances and compare notes.

Then Puck steps out onto the front of the stage and takes the microphone. “Listen up everyone; don’t forget that Child Hunger Ends Here!

The crowd goes wild. But who will the judges select to go on to Regionals? Find out in a few weeks...




Disclosure: As part of the Child Hunger Ends Here Campaign, ConAgra compensated me for this post, but it in no way affected my opinion on feeding hungry children or the cast of Glee.

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LA Beneficial



LA. They call it the “City of Angels.” I was there to find out if there were any. A troublemaking newshawk hunting and pecking his way along the dad blog beat. A newshawk in need of a story. Stories are funny. Stories can come out of nowhere and pop you in the kisser just as you’re looking the other way. Yeah, stories are funny like that. I should know. Happens to me all the time, the last time being a few weeks back.

It was another hot Houston night. Hot enough you don’t even fight it anymore. Even the Shirley Temple sitting on my desk was sweating. I had downed who knows how many of them, each sip breaking the irregular rhythm of my hesitant fingers as they fumbled all over the keys of a second-hand Royal mill that I won from this rube in a game of Go Fish.


Clack. Clack. Clikety, clack, clack. DING! Ziiip. A cold swig of grenadine. Clickety, clack, clack …clack. Clack. DING! Ziiiiip. I lifted the glass to my mouth and POW! The phone’s ringer hits me like chin music right on the mug. I jerk back. My drink spills.

On the other end of the receiver a voice tells me there’s a story in LA. I wonder if the wetness I feel through my shirt is from sweat or the contents of my drink. Tell them I'm in. Yeah, stories are funny like that. They make laugh.

I’m laughing again in the cab when the driver tells me how cool the LA summer has been. Cool until today that is.

“This whole weekend’s gonna be up ‘round a hundred degrees,” he says, grinning into the mirror. “Must’ve brought it with you from Houston, mister.”

Maybe I did, pal. I pull a handkerchief from my pocket and wipe sweat from my forehead. The windows in the’48 Packard are rolled down, but hitting every traffic light on Hollywood Boulevard doesn’t make for much of a breeze. Now I know why cabs are called boilers. At least it has a radio.

Chet Baker’s singing about finding the silver lining. Guy’s got some pipes. Other than the heat and my throat screaming for a Shirley Temple, there are plenty of silver linings—I’ve got a story, a place to stay, and a ride to get there all thanks to some very serious people—ConAgra, Feeding America, and Schools Fight Hunger. Serious people dedicated to a serious cause—Child Hunger Ends Here.

I knew the country was in a bad way these days. I didn’t know how bad.

  • Almost one in four children not getting enough food to be healthy and active
  • A 50% increase in kids relying on food banks for services since 2006
  • 17 million hungry kids, roughly the combined total populations of The Big Apple, Tinsel Town, The Windy City, and my current home, Houston!

Later I’d learn that in Harris County, where Houston is located, 27.2% of the children have no idea where their next meal is coming from! I'm floored by this.

In this economy, you don’t know who’s affected. The newest face of hungry kids comes from those living in two-income homes. All those kids out there that seem fine, they might not be. They might be going without meals, and not because of poverty or out-of-work parents either.

Makes your guts churn, and mine were. Soon the cabbie pulled up to the Roosevelt Hotel. The guy seemed like a good egg so I slapped a fin into his mitt before walking inside.

The Roosevelt Hotel. Now there’s some history for you. Built in ’27. Named after that Rough Riddin’ son of a gun, president, Teddy. Home of the first Oscar’s Night. I took off my lid and whistled after giving the joint a good up and down. Definitely not your average flop house.

“Old Hollywood.” That’s what a playwright friend of mine called the place when we met in the Spanish-styled lobby the next morning on our way grabbing a stack of wheats. I’ll say. Charlie Chaplin, Douglas Fairbanks, Clark Gable—all regular guests. Errol Flynn used to mix hootch in a back room here during Prohibition.

What a time. Nowadays all you hear about is these young guys and gals—guys and gals I’d be doing some work with. That would be later. Right now I had people to meet and places to be.

Upstairs, I walked into a room full of heavy-hitting bloggers—Caryn Bailey (Rockin Mama), Mary Fischer (The Mommyologist), Peira Jolly (Jolly Mom), Linsey Knerl (Lille Punkin), Jennifer Leet (The Dirty T Shirt), Danielle Smith (Extraordinary Mommy), Molly Snyder (The Snyder 5), Laura Thornquist (The DFW Mommy), and fellow dad, Lamar Tyler (Black and Married with Kids). I felt a bit behind the eight-ball running with this crew. No time to think about that. We had business across town, specifically getting the slant on the LA Regional Food Bank.

The Food Bank is a big place. Has to be if it’s gonna support a network of over 600 charitable agencies with more than 1,000 sites and service programs. 1.2 million—that’s the number of meals the place provides each week! But we’re not there just for a sweet little tour. We’re there to work too.

Work turned out to be sorting through four pallets of tomatoes to find ones that would go into smaller crates for distribution around town.

“Pick out the ones you’d feed to your family,” the warehouse boss said. “Toss the rest into those trash cans.”

Five minutes later he said we were being too picky. The criteria changed to, “Pick out the ones you’d feed to your family if were in need of food.” Sobering. Everyone got busy and didn’t stop until every last tomato made it into a crate. We walked out of there smelling like a Heinz factory, but we did so with big old happy grins on our mugs. Not that it was a lot of work by comparison, but in my mind, a few Shirley Temples were in order.

The next day was supposed to be the main event—packing bags of food alongside some Hollywood celebs. Like I said, today’s stars, are all kids to this middle-aged goof with an alderman hanging over his belt. I ain’t wise to none of ‘em, but this one guy, Mark Salling, is said to be a darb crooner and actor—sorta like James Cagney in Yankee Doodle Dandy, but with less “dandy” and more mohawk.

Salling mugged for some photos and then spent a few minutes chinning to the crowd about the ways parents and schools can get involved with ending child hunger. How?

  • Host or participate in a food drive to collect up pantry items for your local food bank to help ConAgra reach its goal of collecting 2 million pounds of food for Child Hunger Ends Here
  • Collect UPC codes from specified ConAgra Food brands and turn them in because each code represents a meal that ConAgra will donate to Feeding America

Oh, and for those registered schools, they’re eligible for several prizes to include ten grand for a field trip—nothing hinky about it either.

Yeah, the whole event was quite the shin dig. Put stars like Salling, Samantha Harris, Dr. Jim Sears, Kristen Aldridge, Jillian Rose Reed, Kate Mansi, Grace Phipps, and others out on a busiest street in town to promote a good cause like Child Hunger Ends Here, and you’re gonna draw a crowd even when the sun’s putting the screw to you. Sure, it may have been hot as Hades outside, but this bunch along with ConAgra, Feeding America, and Schools Fight Hunger proved that LA does have angels in it, angels concerned about that which is beneficial to others.

But angels are needed everywhere there’s a hungry child. Are you one of those angels? You can be. Find out how easy it is.




* * *

To comply with the regs laid down by the Feds, I'm required to inform you that ConAgra compensated me for this campaign, to include travel, lodging, and meals. The Shirley Temples were on my own dime.

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Beautiful, Popular, Controversial, Helpful, Surprising, Overlooked, Proud, and Outstanding

That's a whole boat-load of adjectives none of which apply to the IRS or the majority of checkout clerks I come into contact with at my local Walmart. (Have you seen the actors in that Walmart commercial about the price-match guarantee? A little more apathy, and a little less concern for their fellow man and they would've nailed it.) I digress.

No, the adjectives in the title refer to blog posts--specifically mine. Admittedly, I feel a bit sheepish about characterizing anything of my own with such esteem, but there is a reason: I was forced. Okay, not so much forced as asked to by one Wolf Pascoe (@JustAddFather) of Just Add Father (which you should be reading if you're not already).

Technically, Wolf's request to participate in the Seven Links Project is a meme (Remember when memes were fun? No? Oh, um ...never mind) that involves listing old blog posts that fall under several categories--beautiful, popular, controversial, helpful, surprising, overlooked, and proud. I realize the meme are much like the near-extinct Sumatran Tiger, but this one's worth doing for several reasons:

1) It's hard to say no to friends, 2) you get to showcase some older posts to new readers, 3) it gives you a chance to promote some talented bloggers, and 4) it's an easy cheat in coming up with a blog post. Well, I guess I'd better get on with it then.(Oh, and for most of these I asked for outside input so as to feel less narcissistic.)

*Most Beautiful: "About A Boy"

There’s a boy at the bus stop. Cute kid, deep dark eyes, bright charismatic grin—probably in first grade. He’s also a holy terror. He rips things out of other kids’ hands. He tears around the entry drive, darting in front of moving cars without regard...


Most Popular: "Why I 'Hate' Mommy Bloggers"

So I'm waiting to get a haircut and flipping through a parenting magazine when, there it was: another ode to the mommy bloggers article. Well, isn’t that just special. This is the same thought I had last month perusing Babble's list of the Top 50 Mommy Bloggers, and it’s the same thought I always have when somebody writes another oo-la-la feature about the power of moms with Internet access. Listen up sisters. I am dad (with DSL). Hear me roar.


Most Controversial (Read the comments): "When Men Are Victims of Abuse"

I remember exactly what went through my mind at the suggestion that I had been emotionally abused by my now ex-wife. Horseshit. The very idea sounded ludicrous. I had been an all-state athlete, an Infantry Captain, and an accomplished corporate executive—positions that required strength and mental toughness. The only halfway legitimate version of an abusive wife I could conceive was that of a 400-pound woman squashing her rail-thin, hen-pecked husband because he forgot to bring home the extra side of gravy she wanted from KFC—fodder for Jerry Springer, Tyra, and all those talk shows that specialize in bringing off-the-chart social dysfunction to the masses.


Most Helpful: "Cards for Corn Syrup"

This week a sweet debate erupted within the mommy blogger/moms who blog community over a coordinated blogging tour meant to aid in dispelling the misconceptions associated with consuming high fructose corn syrup, or HFCS. The tour was part of an extensive “Sweet Surprise” campaign initiated by the Corn Refiners Association (CRA), a Washington DC-based lobbyist group dedicated to the fair and ethical treatment of …corn. (Okay, refined corn if you want to get technical.)


*Most Surprised by its Success: "Dear Soccer Mom"

Dear Soccer Mom,

I just wanted to take an opportunity to tell you thanks for having my stepdaughter over for a play date with your daughter. From what I heard afterward, it sounds like they had a wonderful time. My stepdaughter couldn’t wait till school started again so they could see each other every day.


Most Overlooked: (i.e. Didn't get the attention it deserved) "Angels & Demons Part 1: Sparky"

(This is an audio post)
For as long as I have known my wife, Ashley, she’s mentioned numerous times her desire to show Allie, Avery, and me the small Oklahoma town, of Tahlequah where she had been born. It’s not hard to understand why should would want to make such a trip. At eight, Ashley left Tahlequah with her mother and sister, thus marking the beginning of a childhood spent constantly moving from place to place. I once asked my wife how many addresses she had as a kid, and for the life of her, she couldn’t come up with an exact number. So, for someone who grew up under such transient conditions, even by Gypsy standards, the rarity of consecutive years lived in Tahlequah represented the closest thing, Ashley could point to as a hometown, a relatively tiny blip on the map, but one that resided in a prominent place among her memories.


Most Proud Of: "What's In a Name"

One question I am often asked is how I came up with the name Clark Kent's Lunchbox for a dad blog to which my immediate response is a quip about it being something of an accident. The real answer, however, is a bit longer. When I started this blog back in 2007, I did so with the intention of improving my writing; I had no idea there was such a thing as daddy blog (or even a mommy blog for that matter). But that didn’t mean fatherhood wasn’t...

* * * * * 

That's my list, subjective as it may be. Now, you may have noticed that there is one more adjective from this post's title--Outstanding--that haven't been used yet. True. As with all memes, the idea is to "tag" several other bloggers to follow the above stated guidelines to carry on the chain. I am going to list some OUTSTANDING bloggers that you may not be already reading; however, there is no requirement for them to participate in the Seven Links Project. The talented Mr. Pascoe I've already mentioned, but since he was the instigator, I can only recommend him once again. The others are, in no particular order:

The Exceptional Man by Caleb Gardner

The Daddy Files - Aaron Gouveia

Always Jacked - Alan Kercinik

Story Wise Guy - Chris Buckley

Dork Daddy - the Dork Dad

How To Be A Dad - Charlie Capen & Andy Herald


Enjoy.



*originally posted on personal blog and published on another site later

Comments on my drivel always welcome. Thanks.

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Chicks Love Tetris

Up until several months ago my life was a perfect model of balance (*cough, cough*)—a model of perfect balance until a certain friend and her husband introduced me to some goofy game, the premise of which involves enraged birds, aloof swine, and flimsy-looking structures begging to be knocked down. Some friends. This game—this stupid, trivial, addictive game nearly ruined me! They might as well have taught me how to “hot rail” a heaping dose of low grade crystal meth, given the effects of this game on my mind.

“Can I get this thing on my Blackberry?” I asked refusing to lift my head from the glowing light of the screen that illuminated my face.

“No,” one of them said. “It only comes on the Android and iPhone.” Read More

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Siblings

One of my favorite writing opportunities I'm lucky to be a part of is for the Let's Play community. Let's Play is a partnership between Dr Pepper/Snapple and KaBOOM, a non-profit organization dedicated to getting kids to play (and not video games either). This is a short post about siblings at play.

My siblings and I during much younger days
When it comes to how well my children get along, I consider myself lucky. Sure they have their fair share of spats, but the nature and frequency of these moments would, I suppose, fall under the category of “normal” – if there is such a thing. (Then again, none of my five kids are teenagers either, so there is plenty of time for arguments in the future!) For the moment, though, I’ll gladly take a tiff about a video game selection or a toy’s legal owner over, say, a knock-down, drag-out involving the same girl- or boyfriend. (With a 12 year-old, two nine year-olds, an eight year-old, and an almost seven year-old, I am not naïve enough to think this won’t someday happen. Sigh.)

Until that near apocalyptic event occurs, however, I’m storing away mental images of the kids pretending to be Star Wars characters as they chase each other around the Galactic cul-de sac on their speeder bikes. Sometimes they are one big bunch; at others, they break down into groups of two or three and go off in separate directions. After a while, everyone switches, and they reform based on who wants to play volleyball and who wants to dig holes in the flower garden.

Read the conclusion at Let's Play


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My Children and Sports: Yes I'm Watching

With this being Safe Kids Week I was reminded of the rare opportunity I had to see my two younger sons play basketball earlier this year. It was such a special moment for me, especially given that we live so far apart. This is something I’ve been working to change, hopefully before the boys start playing competitively in high school.

Basketball warm-ups before the game
If there was any question as to which person I was among the other parents rooting on their kids, all one needed to do was look for the guy holding a camera in his left hand and a Flip video in the right while trotting up and down the sidelines in an attempt to capture every pass, dribble, and shot involving my boys. I really didn’t care how out of place I may have looked. For the parents in the stands this was just another Thursday night of watching their elementary-age kids running around in an uncoordinated gaggle on the hardwood for a couple hours.


Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to imply that these moms and dads were apathetic as many of them cheered their kids on just as they probably did week after week. For me however, it was different, not only because I was able to be there with my boys, but also because this constituted the very first time I saw them play any sort of organized sports. And I didn’t want to miss a single second.

To anyone who may have noticed, my face was flush with an obvious amount of pride for all the reasons one would expect. What father doesn’t beam as he points towards the boy or girl who just scored a layup. “That’s my kid.” Everyone may already be aware of this, but it doesn’t stop him from reminding those within earshot of that fact as often as possible. I of course was no different except that my method for letting everyone know which superstar was mine came in the form of yelling things like, “Great shot!” and “Awesome pass!” at volumes that drowned out the rest of the crowd. (Incidentally, my 8 year-old scored 16 of his team’s 20 total points in a crushing win.)

Glory days. 
During my high school glory days I lettered in two sports, earning first-team, All-State nods in both soccer for two years and basketball for three. After graduation, I never really followed through on the possibilities these honors might have led to. I had other plans. Now, standing at the threshold of my forties, I’ve all but forgotten these accomplishments. They have lain dormant for over twenty years between the pages of old high school annuals and tattered scrapbooks stashed somewhere in the most insignificant reaches of our storage closet.

However, as my sons run back and forth across the hardwood, I feel a familiar sense pride that came from playing ball in my younger days as it fuses with this new pride derived from watching my boys mimic these same interests. It’s these sorts of mirrored patterns that link fathers and their children together. Yet at the same time, just as a reflection is reversed, so too are these roles in that the perspectives have changed.

As a high school athlete, my concerns consisted of how to break down a full-court press and anticipating which corner of the goal an opponent was aiming for on a penalty shot. The focus was on performance and winning—simple and straightforward. As a parent, though, I suddenly recognized the host of considerations and worries that go through your mind watching your child take to the field.

Recently my 8 year-old stepdaughter asked if she could play volleyball after watching her older cousin play in a big tournament. My wife and I thought it would be a good way to build her confidence, but as we checked out the nearby teams for kids to join, I was surprised at how competitive these leagues were. (That and how flippin' short their shorts are!) Apparently, according to my stepdaughter’s aunt 8 to 10 is exactly the age girls start training seriously if they want to play in college.

Why so intense so early? I remember talking to guys from other schools during summer basketball camps, and they would complain about being so burnt out from playing. Burnt out? I didn’t even know what that meant, but then they told me about extra practices they had to attend during the off-season, and traveling leagues, and then here they were at one of the several camps they had been signed up for by their coach. It was basketball 24/7, 365 days a year. Ironically, these guys always seemed to be hurt, knees, back, shoulders—and it wasn’t hard to understand why. No pain, no gain as the cliché goes, begging the question as to how much of a factor is this when high school players suffer from dehydrated, a concussion, or worse. If my kids get a coach like this, what will I do to ensure their safety?

And there are other things I wonder about too, like when to push the kids and when do I back off? I resolved a long time ago not to be that parent who tries to make their children into being something they’re not or don’t want to be. My oldest son who’s 12 has zero interest in sports, as opposed to his brother who’s a natural athlete. And then there’s my youngest—his signature move is sprinting to the complete opposite side of where the action’s at and then do a swan dive onto the floor. Talk about your head not being in the game, his isn’t even in the gym. (But he is having a heck of a lot of fun in the video ...until the poor little booger gets it in the face with the ball.)



I know the answers here might seem obvious, but I could not have cared less about kicking a ball around until someone gave me a bit of a nudge when I turned 13. Who knows how my life would’ve ended up without the self-esteem I gained from playing sports. Will any of my boys need that same nudge at some point? 

I realize that maybe this sounds a little premature on my part. I mean, after all, I was watching a bunch of 7 and 8 year-olds mobbing whoever had the ball the way goats at a petting zoo do to people who enter the pen holding a handful of grain over their head. Even so, the fact that these considerations didn’t even exist in my mind until this moment is what caught me off guard. Sometimes we as parents tend to make assumptions, not intentionally, but rather as a lapse in awareness. Then we find ourselves in the middle certain situations thinking, “How did I not think of this before?”



That’s the thought that hit me as I stood there videotaping my son tossing the ball into the net. “Dad, Dad! Did you see that?” he said running back on defense. “Were you watching?”

I held up the video camera and laughed. “Uh, yeah, whadda ya think I was doing with this thing? I was totally watching.” And I’ll be watching you and your brothers in all sorts of ways because looking out for your wellbeing is my job.

* * *

This post was sponsored by Safe Kids USA in conjunction with Johnson & Johnson. Safe Kids is an organization dedicated to child safety “at home, at play, and on the way.” April 19 – 22 has been designated as Safe Kids Week, an annual nationwide event introduced by Safe Kids USA and founding sponsor Johnson & Johnson in 1988. This multifaceted public education campaign is created each year to help parents and caregivers understand a different part of childhood injury prevention.

On May the 2nd at 12PM EST, Safe Kids USA will be airing an educational webcast about sports injury prevention.

The webcast be streamed live on the Safe Kids Facebook Page and will be hosted by:

• Dr. Angela Mickalide, CHES, Director of Research and Programs, Safe Kids Worldwide
• Dr. Douglas Casa, Director of Athletic Training Education, University of Connecticut
• Dr. Gerard Gioia, Chief, Division of Pediatric Neuropsychology and Safe Concussion Outcome, Recovery & Education (SCORE) Program at Children's National Medical Center
Steve Young, former NFL Star Quarterback and On-air Talent ESPN (and this guy knows about concussions)

To mark this webcast on your calendar, you can RSVP at the Safe Kids Facebook Event Page

* * *

Disclosure: In accordance with FTC regulations I am required to disclose that I was compensated monetarily for this post by Johnson & Johnson; however, payment for services does not represent an endorsement of their products by myself as the creator of Clark Kent’s Lunchbox. 


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Who's Got Two Thumbs And A Daddy Blog? This Guy

Ladies and gentlemen, come on over, step right up, and see if you can answer this question: Who’s got two thumbs and a blog? Give up? THIS guy, that’s who.

And it’s not just any blog—no ladies and gentlemen, it’s not. So what kind of blog is it you might be askin’ Well I’m-a-gonna tell you. It’s a bona fide, electrified, personified, stupendi-fied, deep fried…

DADDY blog!

A what?
A daddy blog.
A daddy blog?
That’s right, folks, a daddy blog. And just what might you be askin’ is a daddy blog?

Why a daddy blog’s the hottest thing around. The biggest game in town. None like it can be found—whoooops! Forgive me, I forgot about the ladies or should I say, mommy bloggers. Why a daddy blogger is just like a mommy blog only different.


Different how you might be asking? Different now. Yes the mommies have paved the way, but ohhhhhh how things are a changin’. Mommies are the past. Daddies are the new shiny future. Now you can get in on those mommy's hidden little cash cow, just like I did, and all it takes is a—shhhhh… secret ingredient.

And just what, you might be askin’ is this secret ingredient? Well I’m-a-gonna tell ya, but first ya need to slide in a little closer. Closer. Cloooser…

... PIZZAZZ!!! That’s the secret ingredient—even made you jump at the very mention of it. That’s because Pizzazz is powerful stuff. Powerful stuff indeed. Why just a pinch will make ya famous. That’s the God’s honest truth. Cross my heart and hope to die. Make your stat count climb through the sky.

Why Pizzazz does so many things for a blog it’s hard to count them all but I’m gonna try anyway just because you’re such a good crowd—I mean that, I really do. You’re waaaay smarter than that last bunch a few towns away. Where was I? Oh that’s right, Pizzazz from the makers of Hoopla.


Add a drop of Pizzazz and you won't need good content, you won't need to respond to the comments on your post and you won't need any sort of a community. Why, with Pizzazz you don’t even need any credibility, just jump right in and hob-knob with the A-blogs, make cash like they do. But that’s not all! No. Slather on Pizzazz to cure baldness, drop fifty pounds or lower your blood pressure. (*See disclaimer below).

Yessirrreee, with a little Pizzazz you’re sure to bring affiliates a-flocking, and keep their products a poppin’. Never mind they don’t know your name when they contact you about their wares, you’ve got Pizzazz!

And just where, you might be askin’ do you get this here Pizzaz? Well I’m-a-gonna—Hey! What’s the big idea? You’re putting a fat cart before a skinny horse my friends. First things first. Do you even have a daddy blog? No? Well this is your lucky day ‘cause I’m gonna help you out. All you need is a computer… whooops! Almost forgot. You’re gonna need a booger eater or two running around at your feet. You’ve got a few of those right? I’ve got five. Eenie. Meenie, Miney, Moe and little Bob—cute little dickens. Takes after his mother. Now where were we? Oh that’s right, a daddy blog.

You know you want one. Don’t be left out, gentlemen. (Sorry ladies, for reasons—wink, wink—you’ll have to sit this one out. Please take no offense.)

So step right up, men. Here’s your chance. Make up a name and establish your domain…on the web that is. No peeing on your monitors please. Then grab your can of Pizzaz and mix it all in for your very own bona fide, electrified, personified, stupendi-fied, deep fried…

Daddy Blog!

Yesssirrree, soon you too will be askin’ who’s got two thumbs and a goldmine? This guy, that’s who.

* * *



*Disclaimer: Results from the use of Pizzazz may vary. Do not use Pizzazz if you are a reasonably intelligent person, or are wise to delusions of grandeur. Pizzazz is not meant to be ingested, and should not be used in conjunction with male enhancement products. Avoid using Pizzazz if you are breastfeeding, pregnant are about to become pregnant as Pizzazz is intended for dad bloggers only. If you are unsure about whether Pizzazz is right for you consult this site’s blog rolls for a list of upstanding daddy bloggers who are Pizzazz free.

PS. Don’t be “This guy.” He once used to be me. I didn't think to just be myself.

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