13 Things My Kids Seem Incapable Of [Slide Presentation]

Are there certain minor, little things that your kids keep doing even though you've tried time and again to get them to change? Do you wonder if your children will ever get it? I'll wager to say we've all been there. Here is my list of things that cause me to ask that very question. Are some of these on your list, or are there others in your household?

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Dreams of Failure [GMP]

A while back I had two dreams that were so vivid I will never forget them. In the first I was a boy, roughly 10 or 11, standing before a white farm house with three gabled windows protruding from the roof and a wide, covered porch spanning the entire front exterior. Yellow daffodils filled the flower beds at the porch’s base, and the surrounding yard was neat and trimmed. Facing the left side of the house stood a traditional-looking barn with two large doors that were swung open revealing its insides.

A path to the left of the barn cut through a spacious field that was bordered on three sides by a wall of maple and oak trees. Something compelled me to follow the path, and as I walked my feet could feel the cool clover growing in the raised strip running between the shallow ruts that were worn into the damp dirt by some wheeled vehicle.

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Daddy Blogger Mad Lib

The other day I walked into the (ROOM) where I found my (NUMBER) year-old child, (CHILD’S NICKNAME) playing with a (NOUN) in the toilet. This frustrated me because I’ve tried over and over to teach him/her the message that (CLICHÉ MAXIM). Unfortunately it seems like it’s going in one (BODY PART) and out the other. It makes me want to pull out my (BODY PART) sometimes. Not only that, you’d think at this age they would be potty trained and I wouldn’t have to clean the (BODILY SECRETION) out of his/her diaper anymore. The other day he/she dropped a man-size (BODILY SECRETION) that they proceeded to wipe on the walls. I supposed this is just part of being a full-time parent.

I love being a dad, but if I was being honest, I would have to admit that I like my (FAMILY MEMBER) more than my son/daughter. Hey, I’m just saying is all. I know some might find this controversial, but it’s simply the truth, and I’m not going to hide it.

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The Perfect Life

I don’t know if it’s because I’m wading into the deep end of my mid-life crisis or if it’s simple escapism, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about when my life seemed perfect. When precisely was this this? It was soon after working through the issues of my recent divorce. I was in my 30’s and making a comfortable living which afforded me a trendy downtown loft and a hot car, the kind the valets like to park out front for others to see.

Physically fit, I weighed 25 pounds less than I do now, and had a closet full of designer suits that made me feel sharp as I walked out the door each morning. Professionally, I was at the top of my game, and I knew it which gave me a supreme confidence and healthy sort of cockiness that fueled my continued success.

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J.J. Abrams, Dad 2.0, and The Life of Dad [Podcast]

Earlier this week I had the opportunity to be a guest on the Life of Dad After Show where I chatted with hosts Art Eddy and Ryan Hamilton about Star Wars, J.J. Abrams, the origin of Clark Kent's Lunchbox, how to make Sugar Milk, attending the Dad 2.0 conference, and the evolution of dad blogging. I did my best to sound interesting, but who knows--I say "uh" a lot. Anyway. It was at least nice to have a real conversation with a couple of great guys which is a big deal for me considering I only have a cat to talk with all day.

If you're not familiar with The Life of Dad bunch and all the stuff they are doing, then I highly encourage checking them out and joining the community they've put together over there.

Many thanks to Art and Ryan for having me.

You can listen to the program here: The Life of Dad After Show

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Type-A Takeaways for Dad Bloggers

Type-A Dad Panel: Myself, Fred Goodall, Eric Payne, and Trey Burley 

Over the past weekend I attended the Type-A Parent Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. This was my third appearance as a speaker covering the topic of daddy blogging, and as in years past, it was a wholly positive experience. Founder Kelby Carr and her staff did a marvelous job putting together an event that was both informative and fun.

Admittedly I was apprehensive about the conference after my experience earlier at BlogHer. Granted I probably wasn’t in the best frame of mind while in Chicago, but regardless, the event felt a little bit… flat—like everything was a matter of going through the motions. The strength, though, of BlogHer is that it’s a celebration of women—their creativity, their accomplishments, their business savvy, and ultimately their voice. And rightfully so. It’s not that I felt uncomfortable, this despite being “interviewed” by a curious mom blogger who, using a tampon as a microphone, wanted to know what a dad was doing at a blog conference geared to women.  Even so, as the male minority at BlogHer, I knew my place, and that was okay with me.

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