Gone Girl

I took a writing course at Rice where the instructor explained that real life couldn’t be strictly followed as the script for a novel. Real life, she contended, is “too messy” which is why the closest any writer can get is to say their novel is only based on true story.  Blog writing, of course, isn’t constrained by such conventions and is, in actuality, the ideal canvas for capturing all that messiness of real life.

If my life were a novel for instance, then Ashley and I would’ve met, fell deeply in love, and overcome crushing obstacles together on our way to a satisfyingly romantic ending. In reality, however, my life is a blog with buckets of greasy, smudgy messiness that ruin the chance at a pristine story, and in this version Ashley and I are no longer together.


Why I HAVE to be a #HealthyDad

Father and son after a 5k. He crushed me. 
I’ll admit that consciously adhering to a healthy lifestyle as a young father in my late 20’s and early 30’s was not something I gave a lot of thought to. And why should I? At that point in my life I was an Infantry office in Army and in pique physical condition. Working out regularly was part of my job, and thus shoveling down piles of whatever like Michael Phelps in training for the Olympics added not a pound to my lean, mean, 185-pound frame.  But things change.

Eventually I left the military and entered the fast-paced corporate world. Gone was my workout routine, and oddly enough I had to start shopping for new pants. Time for exercising and eating healthy meals was further disrupted by the demands of having two more sons. “But hey, that’s how life progresses. No big deal,” I thought, and I continued not to give my health a second thought. Physically I still felt invincible; mentally, however, things began to unravel.   


6 Things I Want My Sons to Know About My Depression [TODAY Show]

As it did to so many, the news of Robin Williams’s death came as a great shock to me. How could a man with such talent and charisma who brought me to tears, both of joy and sadness, on so many occasions be gone so suddenly? Then details of his depression came to light, and I understood. The National Alliance on Mental Illness estimates that 6.7 of American adults live with major depression, and of those, 2.6 percent, or 6.1 million people, are afflicted by bipolar disorder. I understand, because I am one of them.

When I initially informed my first wife of my diagnosis and the associated concerns I held for our three boys, she expressed strong reservations about saying anything to them. This, however, is exactly the problem for men with depression. It actually needs to be talked about more, and if I don’t talk with my sons about the twisting despair brought on by depression, who will? There’s actually a lot they need to know. So, boys, listen here:

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