Clark Kent's Lunchbox: A NEW Post from The Daddy Blog of Tomorrow -

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CLARK KENT'S INBOX July 4th!!!

HAPPY 4th OF JULY!!!
It's Friday (or maybe Saturday if you subscribe to a feeder), and I'm starting to get packed for my trip to see my boys. It would've been nice to have the holiday with them, but missing it was the difference between a $10 airline ticket (that's right t-e-n, ten U.S. American dollars) and a $300 one. Easy math here and I get to fly straight to the closest airport as opposed to a 2 hour drive from Chicago first.

I remember 4th of July celebrations as a kid with fond memories, the earliest of which were a small town parade in the morning, a family picnic get-together at our Uncle Rex and Aunt Cathy's (Happy Birthday Aunt Cathy), and the day would be finished off with fireworks at night. Usually, I was asleep by the time we drove home. It's how kids should grow up, and I'm glad I can take my boys (and hopefully Allie and Avery) back there for visits. In fact, I think I'll follow this up with a few posts about that part of the country.

Anyway... here's a few things from Clark's Inbox this week.

Think You're A Real Steelers Fan?
Oddly enough, as I am heading home to western Pennsylvania a friend of mine sent me pictures of probably the most "Die-hard" Steelers ever.

I wounder if they could just stuff and mount the guy like that and when company comes over his family could just explain how that chair is so comfy cozy it knocks Uncle JoJo dead asleep. I mean they seem like a classy bunch to start off with, so why not?

Free Music!
Like free music from bands you've never heard of? Check out Noise Trade for some cool-sounding artists that without the Internet would just be those annoying kids next door playing in their garage. It's pretty simple. Find who you like (they have samples) and then send an email to three people you know or donate a few bucks and a download code will be sent to you. I've downloaded a few bands that hopefully will make me almost as pretentious as my wife when it comes to taste in music. (No, I'm not getting paid to tell you to do this... I'm just trying to be as cool as my wife)

Need To Sell Your House... and Find A Mate?
Then here's an idea from a Florida woman - Florida where the women are hot but the market is not. It's a good slogan, but I wouldn't recommend it. Good luck Princess, the housing market isn't supposed to bounce back until next year so plan on a few more trips to your plastic surgeon in the mean time.

Kreepy Bay-Beez Pic Of The Week
It's good to see some of you are getting into the spirit out there... Thanks for the reader submission (where's the rest of them?)

Between The Batmans: Cartoon Review
Batman, The Dark Knight has been building into one of the most anticipated movies of this year, partly due to great reviews (Read This), and partly as a result of Heath Ledgers' unfortunate death. Ticket sales are already sold out in many cities several weeks before the release later this month so plan ahead. If you're a big fan (like me and my boys) or just a geek (like me and my boys), then you may want to check out the DVD, Batman, Gotham Knight in stores on July 8th. The basic synopsis boils down into the story covering Batman's early days in 6 segmented episodes that bridge Batman Begins and Batman, The Dark Knight (Good marketing strategy DC & Warner Bros) . Personally, I haven't been this excited about a movie since the last Star Wars, so I can't wait to see what kind of a bridge Gotham Knight provides.

Batman Gotham Knight - Official Trailer

Even though I'm going to be away I plan to have posts on the Lunchbox each day by me or by friends and family who will be guest posting on several of the days.

Monday is Part 2 of Leave it to Cleaver... see how Ashley falls in love, and not with me!

One more shameless plug to vote for me - it's not that I think I'm the Hottest Daddy Blogger... it's because I need the validation (I've now jumped to page 2!).

Hope you have a Happy Independence Day... and don't blow off any fingers.

CLARK KENT'S INBOX June 27

During one of my evening phone conversations with the boys, Noah and I got the idea to play video games online together. We couldn't find games that were interactive (play with/against each other in the same game) so Noah came up with playing Sponge Bob games at the Nickelodeon site. There were a ton but we finally settled on Invasion of the Patty Snatchers. I'll spare you the details, but this game was F-U-N, and the two of us got pretty excited trying to win on our respective computers. Don't be fooled into believing this game was for pushovers. It was quite the opposite, given the need for strategic thinking in order to win, which neither of us could do.

After probably an hour, Noah had to go to bed, but I wasn't about to give up. Two hours later I finally figured it out, much to Ashley's relief as she sat next to me on the couch for a large chunk of that time. I was pretty proud of my 6,372 points giving me a number 2 ranking among other players from all over in net; however, I was curious as to who was number 1. Some punk calling herself Kristen76 had the number 1 national ranking with - get this - 38,976 points! It was comforting to know I was whipped so soundly by someone (I'm assuming based on the 76 in her screen name) only four years younger than me... and a girl no less (kidding).

The next night I was anxious to tell Noah how I finally beat the game.
Ya, Dad, that's great. I did too, he said without much enthusiasm. Have you beat the medium level yet?
There's a medium level? Oh well, on with Clark's Inbox. (Watch out Kristen76. I'm on your tail.)

Okay, what's do we have in Clark's Inbox this week? Ashley found this little gem and sent me the link, which you have to check out. It's The Top 26 Most Disturbing Kids Movies Ever: Family Films That Will Scar Your Children for Life.

They definitely had my choice - the original Willy Wanka with Gene Wilder - Umpa Lumpas freak me out. Comment on the Lunchbox if your childhood-scaring movies are on the list or which ones should be. If I get enough responses I'll post them next week.

Kreepy Bay-Beez Pic of the Week
We got our first Kreepy Bay-Beez reader submission, and it was... Kreepy times 10.

It almost made me give up ice cream. By the way, it sold on Etsy for $135. Guess there is a market for Kreepy Bay-Beez.

Cartoon Review
This really isn't a Cartoon Review, but if you love/hate Dora The Explorer, you'll appreciate this video from SNL.

SNL - TV Funhouse Marakafunny videosFunnyOrDie.com

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Have a great weekend, and think safety people.

CLARK KENT'S INBOX June 20

Tomorrow will be the two-week wedding anniversary for Ashley and me, and we're hoping to get out and use some of the gift cards (along with writing Thank You's) this weekend. I finally got some of the wedding pics posted in the sidebar of the Lunchbox, and will update them as I get more in.

This week I spent the last part of the week working with the girls at home, which meant facing the challenge of balancing work/job hunting with engaging the girls. I don't think I did too bad, but I did make the worst batch of chocolate chip cookies ever while getting a chance to critique a few cartoons (which you will read about). My boys actually were in Texas this past week visiting their other grandparents, so I got to hear of their adventures in the backwoods of east Texas as they went off-roading with their mom's dad, and watched tons of Wheel of Fortune.

I'm adding a few different items to Clark's Inbox this week including the resurrection of the Kreepy Bay-Beez.

So as, I mentioned, I spent time watching cartoons with Allie and Avery this week and was struck by the various political, environmental and economic undertones running throughout the various episodes I watched. I don't recall the cartoons of my day being so complicated. Who wants to see Bug Bunny as a vegan carrot-muncher chiding Elmer Fudd for hunting down and eating meat or Scooby and Shaggy advocating the use of hemp-made products? Today's cartoons, however, aren't afraid to jump right in and tackle today's pressing issues. This week I watched The Fairly Odd Parents address the current housing crisis, urban sprawl and suburban conformity with in-your-face tenacity.

CLARK'S CARTOON REVIEW
The Fairly Odd Parents: In this Nickelodeon cartoon, Timmy Turner, a manic, 7 year-old boy, gets into loads of trouble due to the ridiculous antics of his god-parents, Cosmo and Wanda who happen to be magically mischievous fairies that only he can see. In the episode I watched Timmy's mother, who's a real estate agent worries she's lost her touch selling as it's been months since her last sale (it's not you, sweetie, it's the market). Cosmo and Wanda, thinking they are helping, secretly give the mother a magic ability to sell any home to any person (ya, but can they qualify for a mortgage? That's where the real magic is). Of course she sells a ton including the family's own home so they can now move to Dimmadore Acres. Dimmadore Acres is a master-planned community developed by a Texas residential development tycoon (no doubt a reference to national builders DR Horton and Centex Homes, based in Dallas). Upon moving into the community, the Turner family quickly fall prey to the extreme standards of conformity, enforced by the home-owner's association, who as it turns out, work at night for the same Texas developer in his milk factory. Timmy, who's a prime candidate for massive amounts of Concerta, manages to magically restore everyone back to their senses as well as transforming all of Dimmadore Acres back to its original state with flowering meadows and woodland creatures (an obvious reference to environmentalist concern over urban sprawl... thanks Al Gore).

I've devised a scoring system for cartoons to determine their accurate depiction of the heinous world child viewers can expect once they grow up. It's on a 1 to 5 point scale with 5 being heinously accurate and 1 being mindless drivel suitable for only children. Here's my assessment.

Economic Awareness: 5 Using the housing crisis as the story's sub-plot was a stroke of Nick-Genius! Bravo!

Environmentally Conscious: 5 Commenting on the evils of urban sprawl was right on target, and although the magical restoration of the development to it's natural beauty was a bit unrealistic, the sentiment brought a tear to my eye.

Promotes Diversity: 2 Low marks here. Even though the god-parents are 'fairies' (not the ones you're thinking of), the lone representative for diversity was Timmy's African American friend, AJ who dresses and acts like a little preppy cracker.

Politically Awareness: 3 Average is the only score I can give since there was no direct political references, which is pretty darn sad in an election year. However, the show's indirect indictment of corporate CEO's (represented in Texas businessman, Doug Dimmadore) running amok without the oversight of the federal government, kept it from receiving a lower rating.

OVERALL SCORE: 4 I was pretty impressed with realistic the show was in depicting the bleak world we live in.

KREEPEE BAY-BEEZ PIC OF THE WEEK
Theeeeeeeey're baaaaack! Due to their popularity the Lunchbox has resurrected the Kreepy Bay-Beez with the intent of posting a weekly pic as part of the Friday Inbox, and we invite all of you to submit pics of your own, which we will pick as the most "kreepee" and post along with our own.

... and in case you missed it, this week I reflected on what my dad's resume has taught me (thanks Ness for sending readers this way), I got "tagged," almost got caught in an alien encounter, and confronted the issue of nudity.

Thanks again for taking the time to read the Lunchbox, and have a great weekend.

Adult Fun With Toys...

Ok, Don't get freaked about the title (No doubt that Google AdSense will be running -well, let's just say they won't be Tyra ads, thank goodness). It's a well known fact that Ashley and I share the same sense of humor as witnessed in her many blog posts featuring "The Creepy Babies," so the fact that we take time out of our daily rat race to pose the girls' toys for one another to discover is just a fact of regular life around here.

The other day, Ashley was away at a school function for the girls and returned to find these ghastly scenes.

Drinkin' Buddies