What A Weekend...

As many of you know Ashley and I were married this weekend in a beautiful ceremony attended by family and closest friends. We are so thankful for so many who helped make the event so smooth and relatively stress free. One of the items Ashley and I did for the wedding was to collect a number excerpts of emails, blogs and writings that comprise the story of how we met and fell in love, and in the spirit of mushiness we are posting that story on our blogs for others to read. Ashley and I have been through quite allot in our past relationships, and we both feel very blessed to find love within a relationship meant to last. We hope you enjoy.

How did Ron & Ashley’s story begin? Well, it all started with a boy, a girl and a three-day trial on Match.com…

Ron’s headline & profile
“The Biggest Jerk You'll Ever Meet... and the Computer Says We're A Match!
…and the description of himself and his “Ideal Match”
I’m thirty-five. I live at home with my mom. My hair is thinning and my beer gut isn’t getting any smaller. I have a 1972 pinto that I painted to look like the General Lee on The Dukes of Hazard. I joined match cause this was an easy way to find hot girls without all the work of talking to them first. So basically what I’m looking for is a girl who’s totally hot, has a good job, buys me stuff, lets me hang at her place and drink beer, lends me her car, gives me money, doesn’t nag me and really digs strip clubs. If I turned up in your search then the computer thinks we’re a match and we should totally hook up.

The ’72 Pinto caught the eye of Ashley who was on the last day of free trial to the internet dating site. When Ashley & Ron did “totally hook up” for a first date, they were anxious to meet for the first time.
Ashley: I’m trying to be cautiously optimistic and failing miserably. I’m all out excited. We're going to have the cutest story if we end up together. And isn't that how all the best relationships start? With a cute story?

Of course, Ashley did her best to suppress her neurotic tendencies.
Ashley: As I got closer to restaurant, I got more nervous and was alternately practicing my smile in the rear view mirror, and talking to myself. Then telling myself to stop talking to myself. Then telling myself that telling myself to stop talking to myself was still, technically, talking to myself. It's complicated being me.

And it was the first of a great many dates for the both of them.
Ashley: We went and saw "Stardust", which was an awesome movie. We both laughed at same stuff. He smells yummy. He has good ADD drugs. So I guess this is all working out well so far. Le sigh, le swoon, le float.

Ron: It was another great date night with Ashley and we left the theater acting like a couple of goof-balls knowing we don't have to resent all those happy couples that used to make us gag. Now they can now resent us.

Ashley: Fourth date sounds just ridiculous because surely we have known each other longer. Surely we've been hanging out for years sharing stories, creating inside jokes, listening, laughing, commiserating. This cannot be the fourth date.

Ron (first Dinner with Ashley’s girls): It was the first dinner Ashley ever cooked and it was delicious. Without warning, her adorable girls opened their mouths uttering an apocalyptic noise described only the book of Revelations Being that it was very early in our dating relationship, I felt it inappropriate to curb the girls charming behavior. I quietly picked another piece of broccoli from my hair and placed it back on my plate. To my relief Ashley acted as I would’ve expected a parent to. "Here we go," I thought as her mouth opened to deliver a gentle rebuff given that company was present. Instead, Ashley unleashed the sound of Hell itself, launching a fresh round of broccoli and mashed potatoes into my hair. High fives all around.

"So this condition,” I asked, untangling my hair from rapidly drying gravy. “Is it genetic?"

And through all the time together they started to fall in love.
Ashley: I'm sorry if I'm still somewhat mute. Partly I just feel comfortable enough with you to just be quiet. Partly I don't want to start a verbal waterfall that I can't stop. Part of me is really scared, but a bigger part of me is telling that part to shut up. So yeah, there's a little mini-war in my head that I'm trying to silence. Meanwhile I can't think of anything I've enjoyed more than just being with you.

Ron: In all seriousness, Ashley's been great and I love her. She's made me feel very special even though she's baked a life-size birthday cake that she plans to jump out of while wearing the Princess Lea bikini costume from Return of the Jedi. What a swell gal!

Ashley (using quotes from Ron): The immediacy and intensity of this is just completely serendipitous. I hesitate to use his words without his consent, but he has a skill to describe things better than I can. I've never met anyone who can do this, who can read my mind and speak it more eloquently to the point where all I want to say is "Um, yeah that" every time he speaks. But here is my very favorite thing he's ever written, and that I've ever read. It perfectly describes how I feel.

" It's like a knocking over a bucket of red paint and watching with unconscious helplessness as it runs all over the floor and under the doors into the other rooms."

Then it finally happened...
Ron: Well, it's finally happened. Ashley asked me to marry her. After months of anticipation and many sleepless nights my worries of losing such a wonderful woman are over. I'm such a lucky guy! When she got down on one knee, I was stunned.

"No, no, no, you are not doing this... Are you doing this? Please oh please I hope you are doing this!" My head was spinning. She pulled out the black velvet box and opened the lid!

"Ron, you have made me the happiest woman in the world and I don't think I could ever live the rest of my life without you." Her eyes were sparkling from the reflection caused by the moon's light on the ring. "Will you marry me?"

The facts may be a little backwards, but in any case, one of them said yes. Of course, the relationship only got deeper from there…
Ashley: Even when everything in my life feels like its swirling around and upside down... even when nothing make sense and all the answers just bring about more questions... I know that he will love me and remind me of everything that is right with the world, and right with me. I never thought I could, but I now believe in love and its power to make me maybe not a better person, but certainly a more complete one.

…even when they were apart.
Ashley: And of course, I'll miss him. I look forward to missing him. I told him about a week ago "I can't wait to miss you," and I truly meant it. I've never had that long absence with joy at the end. Dread, disappointment, frustration yes. But never joy. Having someone to miss is a great luxury to me and I wouldn't trade it for all the solitary eyebrow plucking in the world

Ron: Passengers from the plane jockeyed for position around the baggage carousel, but my mind was too preoccupied with what Noah, Harrison and Sawyer were doing, how my parents were feeling, and about making money to pay bills. But in any case, I was home. Not because I returned to my daily dose of regular issues to contend with, but because, unlike the previous returns from seeing my boys, there was someone wonderful waiting to hug me when I walked in the door. As much as I missed my sons, I was equally happy to be missed while I was away.

Today the two of them will pledge their love before family and friends.
Ashley: Now I've got someone who loves me so completely, who knows me so well, who makes me laugh and makes me think and makes me 83% happier than I ever thought possible. I know that as long as he's by my side, I won't care what path I'm on. As long as he lets me love him as well as he's loved me, then the next 30 years will without a doubt be the best and I hope for at least another 30 after that.

Ron: What she said, except I’m closer to 92% happier…

…and they lived happily ever after. I guess internet dating really does work.


See the story continue to unfold via their blogs
http://schadenfreudette.vox.com (Ashley)
http://clarkkentslunchbox.blogspot.com (Ron)

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What's Cookin' ?

What's Cooking? Well that would be pretty much everything being served at the wedding reception to include the wedding cake... peacock feathers and all. And who is preparing all these goodies? That would be my sister Courtney who is a pastry chef from Pittsburgh, where she works at the Frick Mansion in the bakery (Ya, I know. "What the Frick?")

Had she not taken the time out of her busy schedule at work, taking care of her daughter Dora and helping her hubby with law school, Ashley and I would be sunk. The reception would be a short one, that's for sure. So what we're trying to say is we are so grateful for her sacrifice as she's been slaving away in our kitchen stopping only to bring us samples to taste test or go take a leak (ok, tee-tee for the ladies).

It's nice having your own pastry chef around the house...

If you get a chance, say hello to her at the wedding and thanks for the goodies.

And this is our dry-erase board (really it's just to keep me straight on what's going on with the wedding). The countdown has begun.

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"Girl-Teenies"

Last weekend Ashley hit the town with her friends and family for her bachelorette party. About two days before she cuddles up to me and asks, “So you can take Allie and Avery Saturday nigh, right?” I hadn’t planed on it, but how could I say no, thus denying my gorgeous bride the opportunity to shake her to shake her inebriated booty for all of Houston’s male populace. “Sure, Sweetie, you go have a good time.” I knew I could DVR the Celtics game anyway…

Allie, ever perceptive, was aware her mother’s social agenda had been booked for the evening and as such had already been claiming that she would be joining mother on the dance floor Saturday evening. Know the potential for drama this could present once Allie realized her Hannah Montana Fake ID Kit wouldn’t get her past the doorman, I figured I’d better plan something both her and Avery would want to hang around for.

Trying to figure out a way to create an agenda that would mimic as much as possible what they believed there mom would be doing I came up with the Bachelorettes’ Party. First, we had drinks at the bar to get loosened up. I mixed up some “Girl-teenies” (Sprite, green food coloring and a cherry in a martini glass). Then we ordered up some pizza, and hit on the cute delivery guy (my cousin Jeremy – thanks Big Guy), who we then talked into have a few drinks with us over dinner.

After, drinking, we pulled the furniture out so Allie and Avery could lay their blankets out and lay on the floor to watch a surprise presentation of Alvin and the Chipmunks while eating popcorna and Barbie Princes Snacks. Boom-Chica-Wow-Wow!

By the end of the movie the girls had partied their butts off and were ready for bed (they just needed to be reminded of it).

"Is this what mommy was doing at her girl party?" Avery asked.

"Absolutely, kiddo." I said tucking her in.

As soon as they passed out, the pizza delivery guy and I turned on the game, drank some brewskies, and BS’d about “man” things.

“Hey,” the pizza guy asked during a commercial break, “Do you think you could whip me up one of those ‘Girl-teenies?’”

I looked over at him. “Hey, next weekend, let go see that new Sex In The City movie, and then buy some new shoes we’ll never wear.” Then I pinged him in the head with a soft-jellied likeness of Princess Barbie’s bust.

Check out the cute Pizza Guy who we invited over to our party. Boom-Chica-Wow-Wow!

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A Lunchbox List

The other day while looking at the hair protruding from my nostrils, it occurred to me I really should pay more attention to my grooming habits. I guess as "a writer" it's pretty easy to let yourself go when you sit around, day-after-day glued to a computer monitor like an on-line gaming addict. In the Army I always wore sharp-looking uniforms, with precision hair-cuts, and as a corporate executive, I had stylish suits and a movie-star persona (come on people, go with me here).

However, those days are done and gone, and when I started to get annoyed that my nose hair was interfering with my ability to brush my teeth I figured maybe I had better clean up a bit. It's been what? A couple months? But then I thought a little more, and I reasoned that all that clipping and trimming wouldn't be very writer-like of me. In fact, to become clean-shaven I'd actually be turning into something of a sell-out compromising my morals. I stood a little straighter at the thought, pleased with my scruffy-writer look, and I started to stroke those flowing nasal mane fondly. So, for all you conservatives with stringent grooming standards I give you The Top 10 Greatest Things About Nose Hair...

The Top 10 Greatest Things About Nose Hair

1. I can hide my increasing number of grey hairs


2. They can act as a built-in gas mask filtering device in case of a scud missile attack


3. I can use them to practice rope braiding in case I ever need to escape from prison - kind of like Rapunzel


4. I an pull out the loose ones a donate them to wig factories and hair replacement programs for bald men - it's about helping those in need


5. I can hang hip, decorative beads from them instead of getting a nose ring... and the beads aren't permanent or leave scares (Yes! Bonus!)


6. They give me something to chew on when hungry until I can get some real food


7. They can protect me from allergens such as pollen and smells like decaying road-kill skunks and burning sulphur plants


8. Facial warmth in arctic climates


9. I can change my look by pulling down the hairs like window shades and viola! Instant mustache! Don't want facial hair? Just shove them back in my nostrils.


10. Awesome Boogers! I'm hoping to find one that looks like Jesus or the Virgin Mary so I could get rich selling it on eBay!

Gosh I like me...nose hair and all.

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