Clark Kent Drunk? - Vodka Mom

Tips have started coming in concerning the disappearance of Clark Kent. Unconfirmed reports even claimed a man fitting Mr. Kent's description was witnessed staggering out of a bar near the Daily Planet several days ago. Authorities are skeptical, however, since none of the witnesses have been able to agree on the name of the bar.

In the mean time, fearless kindergarten teacher Deborah (AKA "Vodka Mom") from I Need A Martini Mom has volunteered to join in the search for Kent, bringing along with her the pupils from one of the most hysterical kindergarten classes this side of Metropolis... well she attempted to anyway.

Boys and Girls, today we are going on a field trip. 

“A field trip? I went on a trip once. We went to Florida.”

“Florida? My grandmother lives in Florida."

“My grandmother has old-timers. She visited her last weekend.” 

“I’m gonna visit my nona on Thanksgiving.”

“We’re not talking about THANKSGIVING again, are we Mrs. Patrick?” 

“No, don’t worry boys and girls, Today, we are going on a field trip to find out what happened a friend of mine. His name is Clark Kent. Who can tell me who Clark Kent is??” I asked.

“He’s batman!”

“No, he plays baseball! He’s a baseball player.”

“He’s on T.V."

“He’s the Penn State Quarterback!"

“I don’t really like football.”

“Is he someone who sings with Kelly Clarkson?”

“Can I go to the bathroom? I have to go potty.”

“Yes, Anthony, PLEASE go to the bathroom. Don’t forget to point! Now, boys and girls, Clark Kent is Superman. Do you know who Superman is?”

A chorus erupted in the crowd. 

“Yeah! Yeah! We know who he is.” The class shouted at me. 

Drew, “Yeah, I know him. But I like Ironman better. He has an awesomer costume. Can we go find him instead??”

Ruthii: I have great idea. Next summer when it’s nice out, let’s get a big, big bus that has seats that go way back, and we’ll go find Ironman. Now, is it snacktime yet???”

Sorry Clark, wherever you are, we won’t be searching for you until next summer. Gotta go, the kids are ripping the snack bags apart!!!

Oh well, Deborah, you tried your best. It doesn't sound like the class would've recognized Clark Kent if he showed up ready to share snacks. By the way, Jim's guess of looking in his fridge wasn't a bad idea, I'll bet it is dark and scary in there. Clue number two is a green sash

Tune in tomorrow to see if something Heinous has happened to Clark.

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