A Lunchbox List

One of my favorite things to write are lists - particularly Top 10's. While employed in my previous home building life, I used to jam out a Top 10 list every so often on some company related hot topic. Of course they were usually tongue-in-cheek or satirical in nature with the idea of taking the edge off something controversial, or just easing the tension for a everyone during a stressful period. Who wouldn't love to get a Top 10 Signs It's Been Raining In Houston Too Long from a division president and then open it to find somewhere in the list you are someone you loved/loathed got mentioned for the company to read.

I was a huge hit with the overwhelming majority of those slaving in the office and at the field sites (I saved and printed their replies), but quite the opposite with some (not all) of the management since I was making like a woodpecker on a few fragile egos (but I'm an "arteeest," and that's what we do, right?). Anyway, I was reminded of proper business etiquette regarding corporate emails (It wasn't like I was one of the 250 other people forwarding prayer chains that would earn me a million buck for forwarding on to 5 other people or condemn me to hell for deleting it because that is how God rolls). Along with the reminder, I was kindly asked to stop.

However, I realized the other day (it's only taken a year to figure this out), I can post all the lists I want on my blog so I figured I could do this on a regular basis. That explained, in the spirit of my Sugar Milk post here's a list of the Top 10 Things We Say To Get Kids To Eat Their Food.

For the fun of it keep score as you read these. You get 1 point if your parents used these on you. You get 1 point if you use them on your kids (2 total if both apply). Add up the score and leave it in the comments. If there's one you didn't see on the list, then add it in a comment. Thanks

Top 10 Things Said To Get Kids To Eat Their Food

1. Philosophical Approach
"How do you know you don't like it? You've never had it before." (So why take the chance on more disappointment in life if I still don't after I do?

2. Athletic Approach
"Let's have a race, kids and see who can eat the fastest!" (I hope you know how to do the Heimlich, Dad 'cause a 9 year old choking on a chuck of liver and onions isn't going to be pretty)

3. Old School Approach
"It'll stick to your ribs." Or, "It will put hair on your chest!" (Why in the hell would I want either one of those things to happen to me? I'm a little girl in first grade for Pete's sake!)

4. Installment Method
"Just one more bite." (That's what you said 10 bites ago. Either you have Alzheimer's, Mom or I'm being played here.)

5. We-Know-What's-Best
"It's good for you." (Uh, relevance?)

6. Sympathy Appeal
"But your Mom (or other relative)worked hard to make it." (Mom has a job?)

7. The Threat
"Clean up that plate or you can't have dessert." (Sorry, dad. A roll of Smarties left over from Halloween wouldn't be considered dessert by proper folk.)

8. Japanese Anime (in other words, What The...?)
"Here comes the Mr. Airplane loaded up with yummy strained beets!" (I'm 8 months old, Mother; you don't need to talk to me as if I were a child. You are soooo not cleared for landing)

9. The Event or Celebration
"Eat up. It's Thanksgiving." (And tomorrow is Friday... what are you going to say to get me eat day-old dry stuffing?)

10. What-Would-Jesus-Do Appeal
"There are millions of kids starving in Africa..." (Sounds like an outreach opportunity. How much to mail my plate of squash to the them?)

What was your score?

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