Charlie Sheen. Porn Stars. Fatherhood. Winning

Jordan, Sheen, Rios--Experts all

I read recently in US Magazine.com that a couple of Charlie Sheen’s porn star friends, Melanie Rios and Kacey Jordan, insisted that he was a good father. I know, I know. But, before we all go rushing to any premature judgments about these two young ladies just because of their chosen profession, I think it’s worth taking a step back and considering all angles first.

Why is it we as parents are so quick to dismiss the opinions of those in the sex industry as if they were a bunch of kids sharing their thoughts on eating broccoli and that planned visit to Aunt Mildred’s? Am I the only one who feels it hypocritical that we extol the parenting exploits and triumphs of mainstream entertainers like Kourtney Kardashian and Tom Cruise but thumb our noses at those in the adult sector of the biz.

Allow me to be among the first, then, to stand up and affirm my faith in the word of these women. There’s no doubt in my mind that Sheen, for all his ranting and raving in other matters, is a model of parenthood, especially after Rios, who’s appeared in such films as Humper to Bumper 2*, and Slut Puppies, told US that Sheen “adores” his kids. And when Kacey, the star of Gag Factor 3 says Sheen, “really, really likes being a good father,” how can I argue otherwise?

Think about it. Who better understands the rigors Sheen has to endure as a single parent out there shaking his moneymaker to provide for his children? Strippers and porn starts, that’s who. For most of these young ladies, not having at least one kid would be like a Barbie doll coming without high heels and a purse. For these hardworking, tax-paying moms, life is a constant juggling act involving the same professional endeavors and family responsibilities Sheen is contending with on a daily when not in the hospital.

Furthermore, I believe our narrow-mindedness has blinded us to another blatantly obvious reason as to why porn stars, strippers, and call girls are more than credible in defending Sheen’s parenting prowess. Given that they’re famous for their daddy issues, wouldn’t these women be able to recognize better than anyone a good father when they see one? Truth be told, I’m betting a lot of Charlie’s lady friends wished he could be their daddy, and from what I know about Charlie’s generous nature in opening up his humble pad to them, I’m sure he’d oblige them.

Nanny AND Porn Star? That's job security.

However, if I had a lone criticism of Sheen as a father, and it’s a minor one, it’s that he asked his porn friends to keep an eye on his two year-old twin sons. Charlie, what were you thinking? Don’t you realize what an awkward position you’re putting these ladies in by asking them to play actual babysitter on your behalf? I mean how confusing is it going to be for them if the cable repairman and the pizza delivery guy both show up at the front door?

Even the porn stars had you beat in the common sense department on this one, Charlie. I’m referring, of course, to Jordan’s reaction after you told her the kids could have Animal Crackers for a snack before bed and then handed her a card with your emergency contact information as you heading out to the club.

“I was like, honestly, are [your ex-wives] really going to let a house full of porn girls watch their kids?” the darling of Ice Cream Bang, Bang 2 said in the magazine interview. I think we’d all agree, Jordan’s observation is rather astute, further proving my point here.

To be fair, though, Sheen’s been under a lot of stress lately, and so a minor slip up is understandable. Parenting is hard, especially when you’re out of work, but surrounding yourself with good friends like Rios, Jordan, and now “the goddesses” to help you through the pain of having your children taken from your home is a wise move. Like I always say, you can never have too many porn stars, strippers, and prostitutes out there telling the world what a good father you are. I’ve got one word for you Charlie Sheen the dad. Winning.

*All of these are the titles of real movies ...I wasn't about to link to them.

*** Comments on this drivel welcome ***