Even though my three sons live several states away, we talk on the phone almost every night. Sometimes this yields some interesting dialogue as it did last evening with my oldest son Noah who's 10.

Me: Hey, Noah. How's it going.

Noah: Not too good. Harrison and I got into fight and mom just happened to pick that moment to show up. Here's the thing, I was trying to get him to calm down, but mom said she wasn't going to hear any of it.

Me: Why did Harrison need to be calmed down?

Noah: He was playing video games and Sawyer was on the same team and kept shooting his guy; so Harrison got ticked off and starting shooting Sawyer's guy over and over and over. When I tried get him to stop he started swinging. He hit me in the back of the head with a toy pizza and that sucker hurt. I was just defending myself.

Knowing how Noah thinks, I knew there was more to the story than his side of things, but then again, his tone was awfully casual. This was further supported by the sound of Noah chomping on something.

Me: Are you eating something?

Noah: Yeah, Chips. chomp, chomp.

When Noah settles into this nonchalant demeanor of his, he tends to mix in a large dose of scornful disgust and all the world is one big bull's eye. In the background I can hear Harrison sobbing his way through an explanation to his mother over what had transpired. Even though I can't understand what he's saying, it's clear he's upset.

Me: What's your brother saying? He sounds pretty upset.

Noah: Oh jeez I don't know. He's been going through one of those emotional phases of his.

I can see Noah rolling his eyes as he says this. A few seconds later his brother's crying fades into silence and Noah's voice bouncing off the walls of some enclosed space. He's still crunching on chips as he's talking to me, but as he goes on about something he found on the computer, his sentences are broken by a strained grunting.

Me: Noah, where are you?

Noah: In the bathroom.

Me: Wait. You're talking to me on the phone; you're eating chips; and you're going to the bathroom at the same time?

Noah: Chomp, chomp. Gulp. Grunnnnnnt. Hey, it's not like I sit in here all day like you.


On a totally unrelated note, I posted some relevant information over at Sugar Milk in case you're interested.

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