The Pastor's Covers

While I'm away from the Lunchbox for a few weeks I asked some of my friends and family to step in with some guest posts. Along with giving me a break, I thought readers would like to be introduced to some interesting and more mature subject matter - then my brother-in-law Robb, a pastor at Vintage Fellowship sends me a piece on the secret sex life of the clergy. ***********

I am about to tell you what is a rather open secret among the clergy - pastors have better sex lives than everyone else.

I might be writing about this today because I guess I am a bit of expert on sex. I was recently confused with Rob Bell, the pastor who actually wrote the book on sex. More likely than that, it might be that my three children are on their annual trek to their grandparents' house, leaving my wife and I alone for a week. We've come to refer to this yearly adventure as Sexapalooza. Or I might be writing about this in an attempt to get my brother-in-law Ron to squirm, "Dude. That's my sister."

Whatever my motivation, here I am writing about this counterintuitive yet well-documented phenomenon that pastors of all people get more and better sex than everyone else. Christianity Today broke Christianity Today International survey shows. Three-fourths of pastors say they are happily married, compared to 49 percent of married church attenders. One reason may be because they are more likely to be satisfied with their sex lives.

Maybe these survey results can be explained with something akin to the Wilder Effect. Pastors didn't want to admit to the nice, young Christianity Today intern on the phone that they are in fact dissatisfied with the quantity and quality of their whoopie-making. Maybe they were afraid that their wives would overhear them talking about sex on the phone, and so they just said "Yes" and "Daily" and "Very Satisfied" like they were taking a survey about their usage of squeezably soft Charmin toilet paper.

I think this survey is the best explanation of this t-shirt. But it is not a very good explanation for why pastors seem to "fall into" sexual misconduct with the about the same frequency of politicians. Maybe that is because both pastors and politicians have a narcissistic hunger that is fueled by their chosen professions.

Regardless, I think there might be a good explanation for why pastors and their wives get it on so frequently and so well. Sex is more than just a physical act. It is far more than just a procreation ritual.Sex is a deeply intimate union that connects us to a force bigger than ourselves. Our sexuality and our spirituality are intertwined. When the bodies of a man and woman are united in sex, they are connecting in a profoundly soulful way.

But sex is not the means by which this connection is made. I think it is the fruit of this kind of connection. For a man and woman to have a great sex life, they need to be connected deeply in all other aspects of who they are. They need to have harmonious values, shared vision, a common purpose in life that transcends just making it through the day, balancing the checkbook, and raising the kids.

The nature of pastoral ministry draws together people who want to do the same thing in this world, who want to have the same impact, who are headed in the same direction. A pastor's marriage simply won't make it if his wife is, say, an atheist.

Recently, a friend talked to me about the infrequency with which he and his wife have sex. (I felt bad talking to him about how he had sex maybe once a month when my number is ... that's probably oversharing, right?) Anyway, he had just told me that his wife wants them to move to another country but he is not so sure, that they have separate bank accounts, that they have vastly different parenting styles, that they go to radically different churches, that they spend very little time together. And then he wants to know why they are making the monster with two backs so rarely.

Sexapalooza is possible. And if you want it, you've got to work for it. Talk. Connect. Be together. And if that doesn't work ...
become a pastor.

Yes, Robb, I was squirming when I realized you were refering to my sister. For those of you not at the wedding, Robb was the pastor who married us and I highly recomend him to anyone. Not only will he take charge of the rehersal and conduct the ceremony, but he will also serve wine at the reception and clean up restrooms flooded by young children. Read more of Robb's work at his blog, The Grenzian or find him on Facebook.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Ads Section

Ads Section

  © Blogger templates Newspaper by 2008

Back to TOP