Things to do today

1. Laundry - I'm wearing my underwear inside out to get double the usage.

2. Empty Dishwasher - wait are those clean or dirty? Uh...

3. Turn Dishwasher on - not sure if current load was dirty or not so just to be safe

4. Take Job Tests - One of my job prospects which I am extremely well-qualified for requires preliminary testing of candidates. I didn't do so hot because I misread directions. I'm sure they think I'm a uni-brow'd knuckle-dragger and will pass me up for GIECO Caveman instead.

5. Get Prescriptions Filled - I've just been informed that I am certifiably insane. Oh, that's nice.

6. File Taxes - I got a notice that the IRS lost my 2005 tax filings. Thankfully they got the money and claimed I had a credit. I used Turbo Tax, but couldn't find the saved file so I had to redo my taxes all over again. On the bright side I did them wrong the first time and overpaid so I will get enough money back to take a date to McDonalds and share and ice cream cone.

7. File Claim with Insurance Company - Some drunk chick backed into my car last night. Drunk friends holler obnoxiously that I should get her number because she is hot - that may be but she is dumber than a bag-o-door knobs. When I get back, drunk friends want to know if I got her number. Duh! I kind of have to. Drunk friends are now honorary members of the "Bag-O-Door Knobs Club." Interestingly enough the several dents I have in my car have all occurred while at this bar and on one occasion after valet parking I got towed... Note to self - Stop going to this bar unless you are driving the Pinto. I am President of the "Bag-O-Door Knobs Club."

8. Update Addresses - needed to get new addresses out to all financial institutions and government agencies. The Department of Homeland Security is all over my case... jeez! one little bomb threat and they put you on a watch list... I was off my medication - how can you blame me.

9. Get New Drivers License and Car Registration - I just did this 5 months ago... oh, wait! That's right, I was in Arkansas... well, I got 90 days before I need to change to Texas so let's wait till the last minute.... 27 November 2007 - Perfect!

10. Job Search - Boooooooooring. I'd rather start a Chia Pet or something. Oooo! Shopping Spree at the Dollar Store!

Today is going to be productive. I can feel it!