To Dine on Dogs

Last night my sister sent me an article about a man in England who, out of protest to the King and Queen's apathetic treatment of animals... ate a dog. It's been all over the news so you probably have heard all the details already. Mark MacGowen, a 37 year old artist ate a dog similar to the one owned by King Phillip out of protest to fox hunts and the Royal's treatment of animals. So let's get this straight... I don't like how you are treating animals sooooo I'm going to kill one and eat it out of protest. That's like saying Kathy Lee Gifford is making clothes in nasty, dank sweatshops in Singapore so out of protest I'm going to eat one of the workers. That'll show her. Of course some people may see cannibalizing Kathy Lee as an acceptable solution but that would mean that our canine-feasting activist would have to boil the King and Queen and chow them down with a little blood pudding and kidney pie...

In any case I fail to see the logic. Ok, granted, he was trying to call attention to the situation - and he did because I'm actually writing about the little dogie-diner, but I wonder if he called more attention to himself than the actually cause he was championing? I'm picturing two English lasses sitting on a park bench near Buckingham Palace waiting for their bus.

One girl folds down her paper. "I say, Did you hear of the chap that ate a dog the other day?"

The other girl stairs into a pocket mirror admiring her jumble of teeth, "No, do tell what a bloody awful thing to do. Did it give any reason as to why the bugger would do such a thing?"

"It says here that it had something to do with the Queen, God save her." The girl ruffles through the paper and tosses it in the trash.

The second girl runs her fingers over her gums, "Shame it is, Mum ... Do you think my teeth look crooked?"

"Oh no, not tat all, I think they look quite straight if you ask me."

What was I talking about? Oh, the Dog Eater, right. I almost forgot... Well, I will say this - I don't want this guy protesting anything else. Just keep your activist butt home, pal. What if this guy starts taking on other issues? If he protests:

- the treatment of migrant workers, does he eat one in protest?
- the environment, does he start eating dirt?
- global warming, does he start eating exhaust fumes, Freon, and aerosol?
- the homeless, does he eat a blanket, or a coat, or some old bowling shoes?
- the price of gas? does he drink motor oil?
- the government, does he munch on a congressman? (he'd get an upset stomach)
- lead levels in the water, does he start eating pencils? paint chips?
- gun control, eat a bullet?

Ok, I'm just amusing myself (and boring everyone). I guess if I were going to protest something I'd make sure I wasn't a living out an oxymoron as I did so (now being just a plain moron is another mater). Incidentally, I wouldn't be a quitter either... the chap only ate 3 bites! A whole dog and only 3 bites... now that's just wasteful. How are the same people that followed Churchil's resolve in fighting the Germans in the air, on the beaches and in the city going to be roused to riotous marches and weiner dog roasts against the crown when their fearless leader will only eat 3 lousy bites! Shameful.

PS. Author's note: while stationed in Korea the author did eat dog or as it was called, Kagogee (ka-go-gee) or "dog on a stick." He would also like to mention that it is quite stringy.... and yes, it tastes like chicken.

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