Don Draper's Daddy Issues

This is post is pending publication and can be read in its entirety upon publication.

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You're A Girly Man & Other Motivational Workout Slogans: Meet The Fit Dad.

Today I'd like to introduce Ed, a.k.a. "The Fit Dad." Over the last year, Ed and I have gotten to know one another while doing some collaborative work together, and as you've probably already guessed, he's one of those guys that stands around at the gym yelling motivational slogans while you blast your quads--well, maybe not quite like that. Actually, Ed's a great guy, a fellow Superman enthusiast, and above all, an awesome family man with a wife and daughter.

Living healthy obviously is important. At one point in my life I was 30 pounds overweight and suffering through a major bout of depression. A key element in overcoming these obstacles was forcing myself to hit the gym, and the program that worked proved to be simple, doable and overall effective. According to Ed, what I did was very similar to his regiment, which he has designed specifically for busy moms and dads (go here for a free no strings gift). Given the impact getting healthy had on my life, I've kept a link to Ed's site on the Lunchbox (see below). Is this some sort of Chuck Norris-Boflex infomercial? Nope. But I view Ed's knowledge as a resource that can benefit others in the same way it did me. With that, I turn it over to "The Fit Dad."

***

Let’s play “The Suppose” game.

Let’s suppose you decide to lose weight.

Let’s now suppose that in order to lose that weight you’re going to exercise.

Let’s also suppose you’re going to “watch what you eat” in order to lose that extra flubber.

Can we also suppose you’ll go to the gym, hire a trainer or buy a diet book? Will you join a boot camp?

Okay, now that we’ve “supposed” all those things, let me twist things around and make you think.

What is your first priority in this journey?

Is your first priority doing things the quickest way just to reach your goal?

Maybe your first priority is fitting into your clothes from high school and everything else be damned.

Is that right? Are those good priorities?

Nope.

Sure they might get you to your goal and you might get there quickly, but you won’t stay there long.

You’ll revert back to your old self in no time and you’ll hate yourself in the process.

Now that I’ve painted that gloomy picture, I suppose I should tell you what your first priority should be.

Your first priority, whether you want to lose weight, get stronger, get rid of your gut, be “healthier”, or whatever else, should be your body.

Sounds simple, right?

But do you know what that actually means?

It doesn’t mean you should become a narcissist.

It also doesn’t mean you can flex your muscles in front of every mirror, ask random people to feel your “guns” or fix your hair and make-up every time you see your reflection.

Don’t get me wrong; wanting to look better is a great goal. It’s always near the top of my list, but you need more than that.

Making your body your first priority means listening to and understanding what your body NEEDS and WANTS.

You have to understand that in order to successfully achieve and maintain your weight loss goals, your body needs more than to just “look good.”

Your body has certain nutrition and dietary needs that you should listen to.

Your body NEEDS a lot of fruits and vegetables, and other real foods like seeds and nuts in order to perform at its peak while also cutting out the processed junk that leaves you with inflamed joints, a whacked out digestive system, poor skin and hair health and a flabby gut.

Your body also NEEDS to move. You have muscles for a reason – movement – and you don’t do near enough moving as you should.

Sitting for prolonged periods is the worst thing you can do for your body. It hates sitting that long and it tries to tell you by giving you back problems, hip problems and a weak stomach.

Listen to your body and fix those problems.

You need to make your body your first priority. If you do that, everything else will fall into place, including the “look better” goals, and you’ll be a much happier and healthier person.

***

Thanks, Ed! Reading this post sort of makes me feel a little guilty that my body's starting to look like a handful of walnuts shoved into a condom. (That's a picture of Ed doing push-ups while his daughter shouts motivational slogans in his ear. "Push your body to the max, Daddy! Don't cheat yourself! You owe me a new doll! One more set!")

After working it with Ed, The Fit Dad has agreed to offer this FREE GIFT for loyal Lunchbox readers!!!

Come back tomorrow for Fatherhood Friday and my post, "Don Draper's Daddy Issues." And next week I'll have humorous story about my kids' embarrassing Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde tendencies.

As a final note, thanks to all of you who commented and helped spread the info on the homeless American Girl Doll. According to my stat counter, Mattel spent some time checking out the post, so the message was at least received.

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There's This Contest. I'm A Judge. It's Really Scary

Apparently I am highly qualified to serve as a judge for a contest to identify the scariest products around. Despite some of the crazy (and terrifying) stuff brought to my attention already, this is going to be a lot of fun. So what exactly is this contest? Well allow me to turn it over to Tracy, one crazy blogger and the creator of I Hate My Message Board. Take it away, Tracy.

The Contest

It is with great pride that I announce the first annual IHMMB Scary Product Contest. I’d be nothing without scary products like canned pupa and chicken in a can and I’m overjoyed – overwhelmed even – to be able to give back to the blogging community by hosting this award.

Find and photograph a product that is scary in a weird, unusual, wacky sort of way. This post or my Museum of Snack Foods are examples of the kind of scary we mean. Post the photos and any descriptions on your blog with a link back to this post and leave the URL of your entry in comments. If you don’t have a blog, you can post on Flickr and leave the photo URL in comments.

Judging will be based not only on the inherent creepiness of the product but creativity in presentation and description. Go wild! Make a diorama! Stop motion video! Write a play! Make a collage!

The Judges

Aside from myself, the judges panel consists of...

David of Blogger Dad (the brain-child of this contest and the logo designer)

Tracy of I Hate My Message Board (that's me)

Sean of Writer Dad

Margaret of Nanny Goats in Panties

J.D. of I Do Things

Ron of Clark Kent's Lunchbox

(you may have hear of him?)

We’ll be visiting all the entries and might just Stumble, Tweet or link your post on Facebook or our own blogs if it’s particularly good. We don’t want this just to be a contest, we want this to be a community building exercise. What does that mean? Danged if we know, but we highly encourage participants and spectators to go around to all the other entries – leave a comment, talk some smack, kiss some butt, whatever seems to be the thing to do at the time.

Because the surest way to form a bond with somebody is to ask them “What the heck is THAT?!?”

The Prizes

First Prize will receive a I Hate My Message Board t-shirt as discussed in this post and only now going into production. It won’t look exactly like my crude rendering, but the same idea. And also a genuine...

Cheeseburger in a Can mounted in a Lucite box with an engraved faux-brass name plate declaring the owner the winner of the First Annual I Hate My Message Board Scary Product Contest.

And of course bragging rights.

3 Runners Up will receive a random food item of my choice. Could be limited edition Pocky, could be those fish n’ cheese sausages I’ve been putting off forever. The real prize is the anticipation.

Official Rules

• Contest open to anyone, anywhere but if I can’t send you the prize because of customs regulations or other shipping problems, we’ll work out an alternate prize.
• All entries must be 100% your own photos and text. You can not use other people’s photos or text.
• All entries must have at least one photo and text to describe the item. You can do more than this, of course. We encourage you to go crazy!
• Absolutely nothing that involves cruelty to actual animals or people. We reserve the right to toss out any entries we find offensive or degrading.
• Link back to this post in your entry, either with a text link or logo button (provided below).
• Post the photo and description on your blog or your own flickr account and post the url in the comments of this post.
• We can’t accept entries by any other method than comments on this post.
• You may enter as often as you wish but each entry must be a separate blog entry/flickr photo and make one comment for each entry.
• Contest closes 11.59 PM CST October 29, 2009
• Winner will be announced by 11.59 PM CST October 31, 2009
• Winners will be notified by email, please comment using a valid email address that you check regularly. If we can’t reach you by 11.59 PM CST November 7th, we’ll give your prize to somebody else.

Suggestions

• Creativity counts for a lot
• So does enthusiasm – if it’s a tie-breaker, we’ll go for the person who helped us spread the word.
• Judges aren’t supposed to be bribed but you know I bet they’d be tickled pink if you offered.
• The more people participate the more everyone benefits. Who knows how many cool blogs and/or photographers this contest will introduce us to?
• Visit the other entries! Have fun!
• You can share your photos in our IHMMB Scary Product Flickr group (but still make sure you leave your url to your entry in comments)
• Join us on Facebook or Twitter - we’ll be sharing the judge’s current favorites and our own scary finds.
• If you like this contest, share it with friends. Any tweets, stumbles, sharing on Facebook or other social media is very much welcomed and appreciated.

Feel free to use the large graphic at the top of this post to share word about this contest, or you can use this button sized one:

Thanks Tracy! Well, everyone, let's see those entries. Have fun, y'all!

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Why I "Hate" Mattel Toys' CEO, Robert Eckert

Some of you may be aware of the American Girl Doll and it's latest addition to their line (yes, it's been out for 10 months). I'm not going to expound upon all the details except to share that the doll's name is "Gwen," a homeless child who sleeps in cars with her mother after after being evicted from their apartment because her dead-beat dad left them.

In an absurd twist, "Gwen" also retails for $95 clams, is nicely groomed, and dressed better than most kids. You can read the rest of the details HERE, but there are several issues that I took offense to with poor Gwen.

What follows is the letter I sent to Mattel's CEO, Robert Eckert, outlining those issues.

Mr. Robert A. Eckert
Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer
Mattel, Inc.
333 Continental Boulevard
El Segundo, CA 90245-5012



Dear Mr. Eckert,

I am writing to express my extreme disappointment over your homeless American Girl Doll, “Gwen.” Although I can appreciate your company’s intent to raise awareness for homelessness, as a businessman with an executive level background in sales and marketing, I question your logic, first in determining a target market for which a product of this nature is appropriate, and secondly, in overlooking the obvious paradox in charging nearly one-hundred dollars for a toy representing extreme poverty. Mr. Eckart, this represents poor leadership on your part.

Mattel was once nationally recognized for its philanthropic contributions, but that reputation appears to have receded (again reflecting your deficient leadership during your five-year tenure). In this vein, I find it enigmatic that you failed to take a more proactive approach in the fight against homelessness. Why not create a doll called “Angel,” for example, who helps her father as a volunteer at a soup kitchen or who starts a clothing drive amongst her friends? How is it that you also didn’t think to donate a portion of the doll’s purchase price to a charity dedicated to helping the homeless?

However, Mr. Eckert, aside from the obscene irony in this product, what I take an even greater offense to is the negative representation of fatherhood included in “Gwen’s” back-story. As a stay-at-home dad with five children (three boys and two stepdaughters), I’m wondering why you felt the need to incorporate a dead-beat dad into the equation? How does this help the problem of homelessness? In no way am I defending irresponsible men, but they compose a small minority of fathers by comparison, so what reason justifies placing this cynical image into the arms of an eight year-old girl? On behalf of the millions of fathers who defy the societal stereotyping you are perpetuating, I would like to express what a great insult your “toy” represents.

Furthermore, the problems boys and young men are struggling with today are well publicized, and thus it is less than helpful to market a product that highlights men’s failures. This sends a discouraging message contrary to the original intent of the American Girl line. Instead of fostering positive self-esteem and empowerment, you are telling girls that they will be abandoned by men while at the same time saying to boys this is as high a mark as you will achieve.

Mr. Eckart, I realize that you may never read this letter, that you are probably sitting around some decadent conference table like the farcical executives of Mooby Cow in the movie Dogma, scrutinizing the latest rounds of earnings, while some assistant scans my words. However, I want you to be aware that I am publicizing this message on my blog Clark Kent’s Lunchbox. It has a modest following, with limited reach, but I’m hoping the viral power of social media to influence major corporations’ decisions will cause you to reconsider your poor judgment in merchandising the Gwen doll, as well as with similar products in the future. I’m also hoping that the $7 million in compensation that Forbes reported Mattel paid you in 2008 (along with the additional $6.2 million from your position at McDonalds) hasn’t insulated you from moral reason.

Am I on a high horse? Yes. But sometimes you have to ride one for worthwhile causes like the welfare of our children.

Sincerely,



Ron Mattocks
Writer / Concerned Father

I've been to the American Girl headquarters in Chicago (nearly losing my life--another funny story), and would have loved to see some real homeless child wander in carrying a Gwen doll for a tea party and hair appointment.

Normally, I don't ask for much of readers (I'm just thankful you stop by), but if you feel as strongly as I do, please forward this message through your Twitter, Facebook and other social networking channels. There's just too many idiotic things out there influencing our children to have one more, especially from a product line that once was a vaunted for reinforcing positive self-esteem.

UPDATE: TIME Magazine just named Gwen #1 on their Top 10 List of Dubious Toys

This post brought to you by the great dads (and moms) at Dad-Blogs and Fatherhood Friday.



And also by Kat's Friday series, Dear So & So

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