On Sawyer

Of my three sons, it's five year-old Sawyer whom I know the least. Aside from the few months right after his birth and several week-long stretches since, we have had little time to get to know each other; so, spending this summer together has afforded me an extra special treat in this respect. However, because all of our previous interactions were short-lived and subsequently jammed-packed with fun, Sawyer's expectations of his summer have been that he would be attending some sort of a summer camp complete with a host of daily activities and a bevy of new toys. Of course that's not been the case. I have to work at least for a few hours each morning which means he has to play with his brothers and stepsisters.

This also means that Sawyer is his true self, testing the boundaries, fighting with siblings, pouting about chores--normal kid stuff. Even so, I don't mind because it gives me the opportunity to be a true parent as opposed to the "good-time dad" of before. And on a larger scale, his behavior is minor in comparison to other aspects of his personality. To be more specific, the kid is hilarious.

My mother claims that, of all my boys, Sawyer acts the most like me at his age. I suppose, but I find it hard to believe I was ever as gut-busting funny as Sawyer. Where he comes up with some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is beyond me, but I'm of the impression that as he grows up, Sawyer will be that guy who's always making the wisecracks from the sidelines of every situation. He's off to a good start anyway, aided by the way he pronounces things, replacing most of the hard consonant sounds with w's and r's. Think Jersey Shore meets Elmer Fudd.

Here are a few of my favorite quips thus far:

On Playing Star Wars Video Games

"Suck wed, Storm Twoopers!"

On Asking For A Glass Of Water

Sawyer: "Can I have a gwass of water, Dad"
Me: "Sure. You can get it yourself."
Sawyer: "Come on. Hewlp me ou' here, buddy!"

On Complimenting His Stepsister's Gaming Skills

"You'wre weelly good at kilwing peopwle, Alwie."

On Being Confused

"What du helw!" (He was corrected on this one.)

On Me Not Letting Him Have His Way

"Dad, you'wre fiwred!"

On Getting Some Sleep

"I took a wilwy, wilwy, wilwy, ...wilwy wong nap."

On His Musical Preferences
"I wike big butts and I cannot wie ...Dad, I said butts."

On Passionately Expressing Religious Dogma

"You'wre gowing to helw, Alwie!" (I weighed in on this debate if you know what I mean.)

On Crying

"My eyes were weaking. They do that swumtimes."

And that's just the ones I can remember. I'm sure over the coming weeks there will be more, but for now the only thing I can say is, I wuv my Sawyer.

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The DADvocate Project: Who Are Today's Fathers?

Super dad and fellow M3 Summit speaker, Kevin Metzger needs your help, dads. He's in the process of gathering information meant to determine the common characteristics of today's father, and he needs that information from you. In this guest post, Kevin explains the project in more detail, and I'm sure you're going to find it interesting. The survey doesn't take long, and based on the questions asked, I'm anxious to hear Kevin's findings.

Hello, I’m Kevin (@TheDADvocate) and I’d like to start off this post by thanking Ron for giving me the opportunity to guest post on their site and providing me the opportunity to tell you, the readers about The DADvocate Project.

The DADvocate project is founded on the belief that as culture, business, and society has changed so has the approach men are taking towards Fatherhood and family. I believe there are quite a number of factors that contribute to this change and I wanted to put together a study to find out if my thoughts had any merit. As a result I have put together the largest privately conducted survey of dads ever undertaken. Our goal is to survey 1000 dads and interview 100 of them to get a feel for the modern day dad.

If you are a dad then you'll want to participate by completing the survey. You may also want to sign up to be interviewed. If you do sign up to be interviewed then you'll be entered into a drawing for an Apple iPad to be held on August 1st. The survey is 60 questions and takes about 20 minutes to complete but it's for a good cause. I also want to ensure that I will not be using or selling any personal data. All data will be aggregated and personal details will be removed. If you don't care to be interviewed you can also take the survey completely anonymously.

The DADvocate project is starting to gain momentum and you will want to be part. Here are some quotes from others who have participated in, and/or support the project.

Drew Bennett (BenSpark)
"Form me there are no TV role models for Dads out there right now. I can’t think of one Dad on TV or in movies that make me proud. Dad’s in the media are portrayed as morons or people who avoid time with their family. However, that is not the kind of Dad I am and also it is not the type of Dad that many of my friends are. The DADvocate project is looking to change that."

Chris Singer (SAHD in Lansing)
"Kevin is indeed the full embodiment of a DADvocate. Not only does Kevin advocate on behalf of fathers and positive fatherhood, but also advocates strongly on behalf of one of his daughters, Haley, who was born with Cerebral Palsy. Although Kevin is only doing what any terrific DADvocate would do, I have to say I really admire Kevin and his family for the incredible support and advocacy they show for their daughter."

Julia Roberts - Sheposts.com
"Kevin Metzger wants to answer a simple question: How are dads involved in their kids’ lives verses dads of previous generations?"

Robbin Cobb - High Velocity Radio show
"I really loved hearing about what Kevin's doing in the DADvocate project."

Stone Payton - High Velocity Radio Show
"I loved talking about the whole DADvocate thing and in a lot of respects I'm a stay at home dad. Which is one of the reasons I chose an entrepreneurial path."

Chris Jordan - Comment on a post at MetzgerBusiness.com
"I admire your work with the DADvocate project, and appreciate it more than you know - especially in the role I play here at home with my daughter. There really is an all new generation of dads out here and I'm glad that you're helping us find our voice. Keep up the great work! If there is anything I can do to help with that project, please don't hesitate to ask for my help."

If you’re a dad join as by taking part in the survey. If you’re not a dad share this with all the dad’s you know and encourage them to participate.

In addition to Twitter, you can follow Kevin and the DADvocate Project on Facebook. You can also find Kevin at Dad Revolution where he's a contributing writer.

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Digging A Hole

For those that have been following the Lunchbox for any period of time, the laments about not having full access to my three sons are nothing new. Living nearly 1,300 miles apart for past several years has often been plain miserable especially when throwing in the frustration from the futile attempts to find work closer to where they live. Well, that's not the case now, at least until school starts anyway which is more than fine by me; I'll take every minute I can get with them.

This marks the first week of an entire summer together. Five kids under one roof. What's more, something has finally dawned on me--I have five kids. Five kids! Running around, hair on fire, playing, fighting, crying, laughing, eating (and eating a lot). It's the zenith of craziness.

Over the last few months my wife and I had been preparing ourselves mentally for this moment. Yet in all my excitement over having the chance to actually parent my sons for more than a week, I guess the idyllic images of us spending our days splashing around at the community pool and exploring the wonders of the children's museum clouded more of the realities than I thought.

Instead of telling stories by the campfire, I've been distracted by pressing deadlines on several assignments, which have been further delayed by the constant inturruptions of impatient kids wanting to know when I'm going to make good on my promises of summer fun. This is something of a Catch-22 because meeting those deadlines translates into getting paid and getting paid provides the means for some of that summer fun. Then of course there's all the day-to-day stuff, grocery shopping, laundry, bills, mowing the lawn, etc.

For whatever reason I figured I would handle all these demands by transforming into a stay-at-home dad version of Mary Poppins complete with a magic umbrella and the spontaneous catchy songs. To my surprise that's proved to be an impractical notion, not to mention the children are united in their opinion that I have gone insane after encouraging them to join me in my rendition of "A Spoonful of Sugar." (I think I'll switch to selections from the Van Trapp family singers. Perhaps "So Long, Farewell?")

These dashed hopes have lead me to occasionally wonder if I have dug myself into some sort of hole. Will my juggling of these realities leave my sons feeling disappointed because their own lofty expectations about their time with me were not met? Will the adverse issues endemic to the experiences of all blended families negatively impact both my sons' and stepdaughters' impressions of summertime to such an extent that they dread the idea of being together next year? In fact, given the complexity of the issues involved with being a blended family, do I really know what I'm doing? Will I turn everything into a big mess?

As I've contemplated these thoughts it's brought to mind an old photograph of me as a boy. I'm maybe five or six, shirtless and wearing a pair of over-sized shorts that droop under a childish pot-belly. It's dusk and I'm standing on a large pile of dirt with a toy shovel laying at my feet. I can't remember where all that dirt came from, but it probably has something to do with the innumerable landscaping projects my Dad enjoyed doing around the house which often included digging holes for flower gardens or planting shrubbery.

By the expression on my face, I appear rather pleased with myself as if I had created that three-foot high mound of dirt all by my lonesome. This still moment from childhood represents my every summer growing up. They tasted like strawberries and smelled like cut grass. I was happy.

Reflecting on my current situation, there's a mound of opportunities I am standing on, a mound that could only be created by digging a hole. In less than a week, I've been there to console my sons over their fears and talk with them about the feelings they have been hiding from their mother concerning their stepfather, this while also successfully reassuring the girls that they are just as important to me as my own flesh and blood.

This represents the summers of my future. The taste of grilled burgers. The smell of pool chlorine. And I am happy.

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Jack Explains The Rules Of Guest Blogging...In A Guest Blog

Many of you probably remember Jack of Random Thoughts - Do They Have Meaning from his earlier appearance. This practically makes him a regular fill in, like Leno used to be for Johnny Carson--wait, bad comparison. Let's try Conan O'Brien for Leno--never mind. How about I just turn it over to Jack so he can explain the rules of guest blogging for us.

Rules for Guest Blogging

The first rule of guest blogging is that no one talks about guest blogging. There is no cheesy self promotion in which you use 700 words to encourage the readers of the host to run from your guest post to your blog.

That sort of thing is frowned upon. It is a cheap shot, sort of like writing posts in which you poke fun at mommy bloggers. Really, who does things like that. I’d guess that it is the same schmuck who writes about what rules to follow for Twitter and blogging. Not to mention his propensity for making fun of germophobes and telemarketers.

Really, if I was that guy I’d stick to my ‘A’ game and write about daddy blogging, children, heartbreak and dreams for the future. I’d do it because guest blogging involves two things:

1) A desire to expose your writing to a new audience in the hope that you’ll gain new readers.
2) The chance to help out a friend when life gets in the way of blogging.

In fact I’d probably reverse the order of those two items. It is always smart to imitate politicians and pretend that you are helping solely for altruistic reasons and not for personal gain. Yeah, that is the ticket.

I like that idea so much I think that I’ll repeat it. If someone asks for you to guest blog you need to tell them that you are interested in helping them. That sort of selfless act is always going to place you in good stead. It is so effective that you don’t need to be asked to guest blog. You can reach out to them and offer.

It is a sweet deal, tastes a bit like Sugar Milk* to me. And that of course reminds me of what a friend sugar is to a dad. That sweet substance is like crack cocaine for kids and twice as useful.

Just imagine that your wife has left you alone for the very important task of going to a wedding shower or to see Sex and The City II with friends. It is just you and the children for a full day of adventures in parenting. If you were one of the good fathers you’d play games with the kids and cook them a nutritious meal, even several nutritious meals.

Or you could opt for calling in reinforcements to help manage the little buggers. Aunts and grandparents are pretty good resources. You can use the same technique as outlined in the guest blogging pitch. Call grandma and tell her that the children have been asking to see her all day, not just asking but crying. That is sure to warm her heart and she’ll be there in a jiffy to come help.

But if you get stuck, if on the rare occasion there are no aunts or grandparents to rely upon you can always trust your friend sugar and his big brother television. Head on over to one of the warehouses and pick up a commercial supply of junk. Follow up on that by turning on SpongeBob or some over educational television program and you’ll find yourself with happy children and a quiet house. Not that I would know about this, it is just something that I read on some mommy blog somewhere. It was probably stuck in between the post about the Sesame Street giveaway or why she wishes her husband could read her mind more often.

Anyway your time with Uncle Jack is over for now. I hope that you learned something, maybe even somethings. ‘Cuz nothing makes your Uncle Jack happier than when he can help improve lives by making people better bloggers.

You can also follow Jack on Twitter @TheJackB and become a Fan on Facebook

*NOTE: Jack added that link, not me. I swear!

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