My wife and I were bored the other night and decided to pull out an old DVD (I suppose in a broader sense, DVD's in general are old these days). After 20 minutes of deliberation, we finally settled on Death to Smoochy staring Edward Norton, Robin Williams, Catherine Keneer, Jon Stewart and Danny DeVito (who also directed it). If you've never seen Smoochy, it's a dark, farcical comedy about the kids entertainment industry (but it's NOT a kids movie).
In one of these scenes Norton sings the song, "My Stepdad's Not Mean, He's Just Adjusting," which I totally forgot about. Ash and I rolled on the floor for another 20 minutes, laughing till our guts ached. What made it so funny, aside from the subject of the lyrics, was how the message directly related to me.
I wish I could say that I was immune to the frustration in adjusting to my role of stepdad (which ironically coincided with me also losing my job), but I wasn't. There were a lot of moments when the girls thought, "This guy's a nut-case." Thankfully, I made it to the other side, and being a SAHD turned out to be the situation that helped us all through that transition--that and a sense of humor, which when Sugar Milk hits stores (it's about to go into production, so not much longer now), you'll see a lot of examples of this.
Kind of like the song.
There's quite a lot I've learned about being a step-dad, enough to start sharing more of it with others. The article link below is something I've written on how to deal with the other dads in your kids' life. If you like it, I'd ask that you please forward it around to others who you may feel it would benefit. Thanks.
Dad in the Middle: A Stepfather's Strategy for Co-Parenting with the Biological Father
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