This Father's Day, Make Sure To Degrade Your Dad
First off I'd like to wish all the dads out there Happy Father's Day. I hope you are enjoying a wonderful time with your families. This might sound weird, but in previous years I never gave this day much thought. "Oh thanks kids. These are great cards; love what you did with macaroni and glitter." Don't get me wrong; it's not that I was ungrateful, far from it. But now as a stay-at-home-dad to two stepdaughters and an involved parent to my sons living away from home, I've gained something new: self-respect.
From the time I became a father up until a little over a year ago, my attitude concerning how I viewed myself in this role bordered on apathetic. This is not to say I approached my fatherly duties with apathy, but rather that I under appreciated the my importance as a father. What I failed to really sit up and take notice of were the potential consequences for my children should they grow up without a dad. And the studies tracing any number of adverse risk factors and behaviors found in fatherless boys and girls further make my point.
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I don't know about you, but I'm welling up with emotion (Not!). Others were just as despicable: Dorks in plaid shirts, dress socks and sandals, guys itching their butts, golf clubs, fishing poles, grills, lawn mowers - the list goes on of every conceivable stereotype out there for dads. Thanks Hallmark for setting the expectation of fatherhood so high for us to not live up to, and then getting us to shell out five bucks to keep you in business for another year. They're not alone in sharing the blame.
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The geniuses up on Fifth Avenue could use a good slapping around too. Walking through Sears, I noticed a big display with a card-board cutout of some bald schmuck holding a gift. "Get dad what he really wants this year - a garage door opener!" A garage door opener? Right. I could just see some guy getting one of these and thinking, "Five years of hugs, kisses and homemade cards - five years, and the whole damn time all I really wanted was this here garage door opener."
I know I'm not the first person to use these examples, but in opening yet another insulting card, it occurred to me how little I thought of my efforts, how I had been subconsciously tainted by our consumeristic society into devaluing my own importance as a father. What happened to the dads from shows like Father Know's Best, or Little House on The Prairie? Hokey as they may have been, these images of fatherhood still set the bar high. Some would argue impossibly so. But if we stand on our tippy toes reaching for perfection, it's true we will never attain it, but we will at least be able to say we pushed ourselves to do our best trying.
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NOTE: If you'd like to read about the man who inspired me as a father then READ HERE. Happy Father's Day, Dad!